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Rant #455
(published October 8, 2009)
Wanda's Watching
(The Poor Mojo's "Worst Possible Cover Letter" Rant Contest WINNER!)
by Caren Gussoff
Dear Editor:

Thank you for your prompt rejection. As I am sure this rejection was sent in error, I have re-enclosed 26 poems, done in my own calligraphy, for you to publish in your magazine. Although your guidelines state that you do not accept neither unsolicited manuscripts nor poetry, I am sure you understand I am an exception. You will be pleased to discover my genius.

Ms. Irina Sockington, an adjunct faculty member of the Evening Community Writing Program at Northwest Community College, has described my poems as "showing an excellent grasp of grammar." Arthur Penn, former marketing intern at The New Yorker, called my work "very interesting." My work has been published in Creek, The Literary Magazine of the Evening Community Writing Program, Northwest Community College, and online, on my webpage located at www.freehost.com/literary/poetry/wandajbillings1967.

I am happy to come and discuss my poems with you in person, either at your day job working as a Technical Writer I for Day-Glow Software, located at 1000 Industry Drive, or at your home (with such a lovely garden I must say!) at 327 Autumn Way NE. I have noticed that you tend to be at Day-Glow between 8:45am and 5:30pm and at home after 6pm—except of course, on Thursdays, when you have your Intermediate AquaDance class at the Lake Ridge Community Pool from 6:30 to 8:30pm.

I hope you have as much fun reading these as I did writing them. Please let me know in which issue these will run.

Sincerely yours,
Wanda J. Billings


Caren Gussoff co-editor of Brain Harvest: An Almanac of Bad-Ass Speculative Fiction and author of the novel Homecoming and short story collection Wave and Other Stories. Her stories are featured in Birkensnake II and Abyss & Apex, among other fine and reputable venues. Find her online at www.spitkitten.com.

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