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The Giant Squid
Aide-de-Camp to Ivan the Terrible, covert adviser to Mao Tse-Tung, chief chef for Rasputin, secret lover of Francois Mitterand, Untier of Knots to the Burmese Ministry of the Interior and Tongan Prince Taufa'ahau Tupou II, and long-time advice columnist--the Giant Squid had many careers prior to joining the Poor Mojo's staff in 2000. He quickly rose to Editor-in-Chief, and the Almanac(k) has flourished under his magnanimous rule ever since.

[More on the Giant Squid, his Weekly Column and his other writings on Poor Mojo's Almanac(k)]


After the fire of '02, the man we now know as David was cast adrift, free from those societal bonds which had for so long chained him. Survived in the civilized world by a lone and cruelly deformed child, the man with only an X for his name escaped to the South China Sea where he spent many years as a seafaring cutthroat and ne'erdowell. Always with a knife between his teeth and blood on his knuckles, our man learned the ins and outs of the mercenary life.

Some say the time amongst the islands lead an already tilting man to the brink. Some say the secrets of Vishnu were revealed to him.

[More on Mr. Nelson and his writings on Poor Mojo's Almanac(k).]


A personal friend of Beria during the Stalinist Period, MoJo, our wayward founder, renounced communism when he was smuggled into this country by G. Gordon Liddy in 1959 (they stowed away in a secret compartment of the Dalai Lama's escape plane). Debriefed by Allen Dulles and later employed by Walt Disney, MoJo (AKA The Bear), has infiltrated numerous ludicrously secure corporate and sovereign organizations.

The only man alive to have the entire formula for Coke committed to memory, MoJo still frequently consults for the Trilateral Commission, the Bilderberg Group and Black Six.

Now retired, The Bear finances this almanac for reasons only known to him.

[More on Mr. Johnson and his writings on Poor Mojo's Almanac(k)]


Who is the sad monkey with the socket in his brain? Secrets make us strong. Secrets overcome.

[More on Mr. Swanson and his writings.]


He's on Fire Island, don't you remember? Sins and such.

[More on Mr. Warren and his writings on Poor Mojo's Almanac(k).]



Contact Us

Copyright (c) 2000, 2004, David Erik Nelson, Fritz Swanson, Morgan Johnson

More Copyright Info

Actual Masthead

Poor Mojo's Almanac(k) (TM) was founded in January of the Year 2000 by Dave Nelson, Morgan Johnson and Fritz Swanson. The concept was Dave and Morgan's. The Layout and graphics sprang wholly formed from Fritz's forehead. Subsequent designs have been eaten by Fritz, so as to protect his future as king. Dave has built all of the backend stuff, including the Poor Mojo Doc on Demand Engine (TM), all of the bots and the crazy Kill Bot which wrecked the lab last week. He has also created a wonderfully hidden bot which generates the pages for us dynamically, sort of, while making them appear to be static, sort of. I don't understand everything, but suffice it to say it took a long time and we all love Dave for the effort. And if anyone wants to donate money to Dave in particular, especially for the Doc on Demand engine which is undeniably cool, please note that when you go to our credit card server. And if no one donates money to Dave, then the world is a sick place indeed because the Doc on Demand Engine is a Pure Public Good.

All three of us select content, but we each have our favorite styles. Can you guess who picked which stories? A secret prize to the person who can correctly guess all of the stories at the end one calendar year. Morgan has been leading the charge for content selection.

It costs us about 200 bucks a year to maintain this magazine. That's when we don't pay anyone anything. Just so you know where we are coming from. Frankly, we would like to pay our writers. Wouldn't that be nice?

Watch this space for more about the behind the scenes MOJO STUFF.

-PMjA 08/2000


Each of the pieces on this website is copyrighted to its respective author. The design belongs, essentially to the magazine as a group. The bots are all Dave's. I just thought that needed to be posted officially. 08/26/2000


Poor Mojo's Almanac(k) is published weekly and receives 70,000 hits per week on 40,000 pages from 17,000 visits.

A New Change:

Today, April First, 2004, Fritz started rolling out css throughout the Alamanac(k). This page was the first main page that got done.