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Squid #389
(published July 3, 2008)
Ask the Giant Squid: My Enemies are Discrete in Number, Infinite in Rancour
Who is Poor Mojo's Giant Squid?
Dear Giant Squid:

Who are your Enemies?

Your Friend,
The Ghost of Richard Nixon

Dearest Dick o' Tricksey,

First, allow me to rescind all condolences which were earlier conferred. You are indeed greater and more powerful dead than you were alive. Even now, the bluegreen ethereal quality of your be-robed form does appear weekly on the national stage. I believe your greatest achievement, (barring the gutting and taxidermitizing of John Fitzgerald Caenedach's actual corpse following his Second Assassination in 1989) was the Re-Animation of Your Death Spawn, Richard Milhouse Cheney. That you keep his fetid corpse stumbling through the Capital powered only by a canister of compressed howls (as seen in the following photographic plate; look to the inseam for where he stores his powerpack of human suffering and fury) is truly a marvel of eldritch science.

In the end, I should not have mourned you, but instead, as I do know, loathed your achievement and envied your transmutation into the sublime creature you are today. Truly, you have surpassed the King in Yellow.

In that spirit, I can only imagine that you are now calling in one of many favors leased to me, lo these many years ago, and I imagine I am far down upon your listings of the mark. Fleshing out your own enemies list for The Second Coming, eh? It is a wise mind who delegated such paltry, personal duties.

Well, please, before the windy trumpets blare, and the Nixons raise their rigored fists into the California air, peruse my own list of the enemies and add all or any that you find will happily flesh out your own much grander catalogue:

Richie Dick, should you ultimately elect to license one or several of the above-listed marks for limited, non-exclusive use on your own Enemies List or Lists, please contact my legal council via certified postal mail for a complete schedule of fees:
The Rev. Dr. Love, Esq.
Legal Counsel to the Giant Squid
c/o Poor Mojo's Almanac(k) and Associated Media Services
PO Box 282
Manchester, MI 48158
Yet I Remain,
Your Giant Squid

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see other pieces by this author | Who is Poor Mojo's Giant Squid? Read his blog posts and enjoy his anthem (and the post-ironic mid-1990s Japanese cover of same)

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(as interpreted by one Giant Squid)

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