Poor Mojo's Almanac(k) Classics (2000-2011)
| HOME | FICTION | POETRY | SQUID | RANTS | archive | masthead |
Squid #393
(published July 31, 2008)
Ask the Giant Squid: I LULZ UR PREZIDENTZ
Who is Poor Mojo's Giant Squid?
Dearest Readership,

In this last week before we embark on our month-long Poor Mojo's Almanac(k) and Associated Media Services, LLC. presents "Poor Mojo's Almanac(k): Year One" I have, at my typist Jarwaun's behest, engaged once more in our fine hobby and project of crafting the "Fifty" LOLPREZIDENTZ. I do this not for myself, nor even for Jarwaun, but for the Lord, and for what He did for Me when I was in bondage in Egypt.

I jest. I do this for Jarwaun. He is a dear boy. You may look upon these works as well, because I like you tolerable well, also. You are fair and good people, each, with occasionally disconcerting problems. I still respect you in exactly the proportion as I ever did, despite knowing your mundane and embarrassing Secrets.

Although I in no way intend this textual-visual project as political commentary, I must confess that this particular series of LOLPREZIDENTZ does give a startlingly visceral illustration of the falling star that is your Republican's Party. Were I you, I would refrain from voting Bear with a Coat Hanger and Loaded Gun on a Preschool Floor in '08. Upon reflection, I note that Jarwaun has informed me that each of these presidents was accosted and two-thirds killed by "a crazy white man with a gun" who may, or may not, still be at large. As such, perhaps the Bear and Loaded Gun ticket is the only wise one for the embattled Party.

I Remain,
Your Giant Squid

Got a Question? Contact the Giant Squid
or check the Squid FAQ

Love the Giant Squid? Buy his first book.

Share on Facebook
Tweet about this Piece

see other pieces by this author | Who is Poor Mojo's Giant Squid? Read his blog posts and enjoy his anthem (and the post-ironic mid-1990s Japanese cover of same)

Poor Mojo's Tip Jar:

The Next Squid piece (from Issue #394):

Ask The Giant Squid: Mr. Beepers' Mom
(a Poor Mojo's Classic)

The Last few Squid pieces (from Issues #392 thru #388):

Ask the Giant Squid: A Pressing Question As Sickness Strikes

Ask the Giant Squid: Dr. Love

Ask the Giant Squid: Of Weresquid, Orgies, and Manned Spaceflight

Ask the Giant Squid: My Enemies are Discrete in Number, Infinite in Rancour

Ask the Giant Squid: Beware das Rennmausführer, My Son

Squid Archives

Contact Us

Copyright (c) 2000, 2004, David Erik Nelson, Fritz Swanson, Morgan Johnson

More Copyright Info