Poor Mojo's Almanac(k) Classics (2000-2011)
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Squid #232
(published June 23, 2005)
Visions of the Giant Squid: To Eat a Cat (also, with instructions for knitting a squid hat for your infant)
Who is Poor Mojo's Giant Squid?

Glorious do I drift in the mellow confines of my tank, lonely as a knitted cloud.


What is this? A quadrupedal interloper upon my solitude! Ah, yes, my feline nemesis, first you are surprised by my sudden attack!


Then resigned to your destruction.


But resignation was feigned, I see, and you make for to escape!


The violence of your throes is alarming in the extreme! My good left hunter sustains several, needily bites, feculent with the chemo-bacterial filth of your maw!


Snapping your hardskulled cranium both the to and the fro, I am whippéd and scoured, like and unto a gentle palm suffering a terrible monsoon!


But you have not the stamina of the might Architeuthis dux! You grow restive, and then sluggish . . .


. . . and Victory, she is mine.

fin


BABY KNITTED SQUID HAT
submitted by dedicated reader and loyal Squid America citizen Sara Swanson

(NOTE: Here are instructions for an adult-sized knitted squid hat)

 

DIRECTIONS

Gauge: 6 & 1/2 stitches per inch per inch using #5 needles

White Part

Long Tentacles

Body

Short Tentacles

Blue Part

Long Tentacles

Body
Short Tentacles
Sewing up

Eyes

Questions?


See also: Ask the Giant Squid: To Knit, Perchance to Dream; Aye, There's the Rub.

If you like squids and textiles, you might also like sewing a Sock Squid; instructions available as a free download from David Erik Nelson's DIY craft book Snip, Burn, Solder, Shred.

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see other pieces by this author | e-mail this piece to a friend | Who is Poor Mojo's Giant Squid? Read his blog posts and enjoy his anthem (and the post-ironic mid-1990s Japanese cover of same)

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The Next Squid piece (from Issue #233):

Notes from the Giant Squid: Concerning the Governance of These United States, A Primer (pt. 3)

The Last few Squid pieces (from Issues #231 thru #227):

Notes from the Giant Squid: Concerning the Governance of These United States, A Primer (pt. 2)

Ask the Giant Squid: I Eat Cannibals

Tales of the Giant Squid: A Year and a Day (part six of thirteen)

Notes from the Giant Squid: Concerning the Governance of These United States, A Primer (pt. 1)

Ask the Giant Squid: Extraordinary Popular Delusions And The Madness Of Courtney


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