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Rant #87
(published Early, 2002)
A Rebuttal for A Rebuttal of A Rebuttal . . . i think this has gone too far
by Ralph the Airborne Ranger

(this piece is a rebuttal to A Rebuttal for the "Airborne Fucking Ranger", which was a rebuttal to A Rebuttal for the Nonviolent Liberal, which was itself a rebuttal to An Argument from the Nonviolent Liberal, which— to the best of our knowledge— didn't really rebut anything.)

Excuse me, did you people read my last rebuttal or did you just write the new one for the hell of it? Who ever said we were bombing "the shit out of an Arab nation because we dislike and don't understand their religious or political beliefs"? From what I understand, the Taliban are not an Arab country but a group of militant extremists who decided it would be fun to start flying large airplanes into even larger buildings. They live in Afghanistan, but we are not at war with Afghanistan; we are at war with the Taliban. There are a lot of people in that country who are not Taliban, and we are not bombing the shit out of them. In fact, we are training them to fight the Taliban, 'cause they're pretty pissed at them too (I think it's got something to do with smack).

Contrary to popular belief (and also popular opinion) we are not randomly bombing anyone with a turban. We have identified military targets and personnel and are attacking them. We have found evidence, such as models of the World Trade Center and such, as well as targets which were not hit amongst the remains of whatever we bombed the shit out of (don't you watch CNN?) If you think the targets had "absolutely no direct connection to the events that sparked this American Aggression" you are sorely mistaken. If you also think that the attacks on the US would have ended with Sept 11 without our military intervention, then you are as naive as you are misinformed.

As you said, those who organized the WTC massacre may have thought that they were fighting the good fight . . . but so did Hitler. One more correction to your rebuttal: I never said we should kick Sadam Hussein's ass. I said we already did. You misused my quote, robbing it of its original intention.

Apparently, however, the point of my rebuttal must have been overlooked. My point was not to promote war, but quite the contrary. This airborne ranger can't tell you what it's like to kill or watch my best friend bleed to death in my arms, but I can tell you what it is like to bury three men who care more about their country and fellow human beings than they do for themselves. I should think that would be enough.

My point was that America has become complacent. We stand for nothing except that SUV you where talking about, Starbucks, cubicles and sitcoms. As horrific as Sept 11 was, it woke us up as a nation and people are starting to give a fuck about one another again. It is sad that it took a horrific event to spark these feelings and I hope it doesn't take another one to keep them going. For if we fall back into our lack of concern for our fellow Americans, then there will be a thousand Columbines and 250 million graves with the words "Everything was Beautiful and Nothing Hurt" written on them.

I am excited that you care enough to voice your opinion, although I am confused as to why you would write a rebuttal to a character. I didn't think Ralph would be taken seriously.

Ralph the Airborne Ranger is also known as Luke Bruhns, who has published several other pieces on Poor Mojo's Almanac(k): Musings After Overtime at the Porn Factory and Live Nude Girls

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The Next Rant piece (from Issue #88):

Another Church Shocker: "Fuck It!" Says Resigning Cardinal
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The Last few Rant pieces (from Issues #86 thru #82):

The Problem of Evil
by J.E.C.

Toward a Unified Theory of Touch
by Manish Raiji

Shuffle Your Own Damn Papers
by Nicole Boback

A Rebuttal for Johnny Retail
by Tom Plain-and-Tall

A Rebuttal for the "Airborne Fucking Ranger"
by Georgia Blake

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