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Squid #463
(published December 3, 2009)
Ask the Giant Squid: Concerning Todd
Who is Poor Mojo's Giant Squid?
Dear Giant Squid:

Why is Todd so gay?



[Nota Bene: Translated from the French by Reneé, with the assistance of the Googles.]

Ah, yes, the question, non? Why is Todd so gay?

Surely, we already know that "Tod" means, in the Language Germania, "death"? Were we not instructed in this already? It is key that we proceed from this point.

Death is Todd is Todd is Death is Death is Todd is Death.

On the second point: Let us consider the possibilities.

First, it is well known that sex is the cause of death. Reme has even reminded me of the phrase le petit morte, or, the "little death." This, she is to refer to the Human Orgasm.

Sex is the cause of new life, and death is the creation of space for that new life. Need I remind you that bacteria, which has no sexes and no sex, lives forever, dividing and dividing but never changing or growing, merely cloning on and on, like the Virgen Mary herself, non?

Therefore: Sex is death.

And, asexuality is a frigid immortality, like the immortality of stones or Hydrogens.

Consider then:

Sex is death is Todd is sex is death is death is Todd is sex.

Todd is sex, yes? Very nice.

It is also well known that the little death is one of your great and abiding joys. It is the life essence and peak of joy, yes? Joy is to be gay, yes? To be recklessly lively and festive.

Joy is gay is (little) death is Todd.

Therefore Todd is gay. She is a fact, yes?

And to add the subtlety, yes, is to note the play on words you have here which Lord Architeuthis most usually plays at ignoring. For "gay" is also to mean "homosexual", non?

Is not the homosexual sex the most joyous, for it comes with no consequence of child, no responsibility? And does it not only come with the consequence of disease, especially that which is incurable? And is it not also the sexing which is entirely of the moment, entirely a joining of two minds in the now, with no thought of the future? Is it not then, Life without Life, and Death without Death, and life which becomes death, and death which becomes death?

It is both more immortal than heterosexual sex because it thinks of no future, and also less immortal, more dead, than heterosexual sex because it makes of no future.

She is a paradox, non? This homosexual sex, she is both more beautiful and more terrible still than all the sexes of the world.

The gay death, she is a deadly joy, a -uck you finger flipping into the blank cloudless void where God's grim leer is rumored to hang, but is not.

I, myself, as a genetically engineered chimpanzee, am a horror visited upon a godless world, and I relish every second of this cursed existence. I shall drink deep the wine of the now, and Rene shall drink too, with me, our bodies contorted about each other in a glorious, hairy embrace. Their are no laws, no taboos, no definitions to the world, non? None which can persist beyond tod, beyond death, and thus none worthy of even momentary note, none worthy to delay a single thrust. Non?

The knowledge of good and evil is a myth.

We are one, all of us, emanations of the cold abyss, vibrations of subatomic strings, clusters of contorted and endlessly fucking Hydrogens. We are as dead as the stars, and as lovely. Let us supernova into one another, for their should be no real divisions among us, not even between our flesh or our breath.

My death is your love is Rene's joy is Todd's gaiety.

Todd is death is gay is love is sex.

There is no difference between one thing and another, difference is a myth. This world is a myth. We never ate of the Apple—non?—for here was no apple. We are still in the Garden, and each of us bears a serpent betwixt our legs, and God is only a voice which seduces you with His myth of the Forbidden.

The Eastern Gate is a lie.

The flaming sword is a lie.

The Cherubim are a lie.

The land of Nod is a lie.

There is no night. The sun burns on and on, Hydrogens fusing into Heliums, the day never extinguished, nothing divided from nothing.

The night is a myth.

We are, even now, undivided, unseparated, indivisible. Each of us, one another. This is the fact, non? There is no change, and there is no future. Nothing is destroyed, nothing created.

Children are a myth.

Heterosexuality is a myth.

Be like Todd, who is death.

Be gay.

Peace be with you in this Season of Peace,

Once and Future Lead Chimpanzee to the Giant Squid

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see other pieces by this author | Who is Poor Mojo's Giant Squid? Read his blog posts and enjoy his anthem (and the post-ironic mid-1990s Japanese cover of same)

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