Poor Mojo's Almanac(k) Classics (2000-2011)
| HOME | FICTION | POETRY | SQUID | RANTS | archive | masthead |
Squid #437
(published June 4, 2009)
Ask the Giant Squid: The Good and Honest General Motor
Who is Poor Mojo's Giant Squid?
Dear Giant Squid,

Did you hear? You're landlord just went bankrupt! Any comments?

A Smart Ass Reader

Dear Intelligent Donkey,

On the advice of counsel, the eminent (and disturbingly imminent) Dr. Hercule Love, I have decided to not issue an official comment on the subject of the laboratory, my research, or my relationship with The Good and Honest General Motor. He and I have been friends (I would say "comrades" but he would object) since The War, and as such, I do not think it right to kick upon him now that he lay down in the ditch and dying the cruel but just death that he so richly deserves.

And so I shall not. I shall say not one more word. Not another at all, for any reason. No more words will be uttered by me past this very sentence. The period has been put upon my comments regarding The General, his obsession with fluoride, among other things, and his associations, both past and present, with certain suspect individuals and Coureurs-de-Bois of the far Canadian north.

My comments are at an end.

But... because I am nothing if not fairminded, I cannot prevent my staff from having their say, and as such Mr. Leeks has asked if he may post for your perusal and consideration our annual budget, or rather selections thereof, which might clearly present our position in the matter and preemptively defenestrate any of our opponents, or should I say Wise and Good Friends, in the General's Cadre of assistants who might wish to pin the blame for this economic debacle partially or wholly upon my small, idiosyncratic scientific concern.

Selected Line Items from Architeuthis Enterprises LLC, budget, for the 2009 fiscal year:

As you can see, the financial collapse of Mr. General Motors' fine establishment was no fault of ours.

I Remain,
The Giant Squid

Got a Question? Contact the Giant Squid
or check the Squid FAQ

Love the Giant Squid? Buy his first book.

Share on Facebook
Tweet about this Piece

see other pieces by this author | Who is Poor Mojo's Giant Squid? Read his blog posts and enjoy his anthem (and the post-ironic mid-1990s Japanese cover of same)

Poor Mojo's Tip Jar:

The Next Squid piece (from Issue #438):

Ask the Giant Squid: A Rum Night on the Barbary Coast (Squidapalooza; part one of three)

The Last few Squid pieces (from Issues #436 thru #432):

Ask The Giant Squid: The Ziggurat of the Devourer of the Dead (In the Shadow of the Canyon of Death; part four of four)

Ask The Giant Squid: In the Heart of the Heart of the Heart of Evil (In the Shadow of the Canyon of Death; part three of four)

Ask The Giant Squid: In Mexico, No One Can Hear You Scream (In the Shadow of the Canyon of Death; part two of four)

Ask The Giant Squid: On the Heels of Ambrose Bierce (In the Shadow of the Canyon of Death; part one of four)

Ask the Giant Squid: I Have Got the Twitters!

Squid Archives

Contact Us

Copyright (c) 2000, 2004, David Erik Nelson, Fritz Swanson, Morgan Johnson

More Copyright Info