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Rant #170
(published March 11, 2004)
Pop Quiz
apperently by Molly Reynolds' Elder Nephew's Science Teacher

1) Bullet A is shot from a high-powered rifle held parallel to the ground at a height of 1 meter. At the same moment, bullet B is dropped from a height of 1.1 meters. Which bullet strikes the ground first?

2) At what distance from the shooter will bullet A land? (assume the muzzle velocity is 110 m/sec and disregard air friction. Please show all work. Continue on back if necessary.)

3) A bullet enters a skull through the forehead and exists through the back of the cranium. Using what you know of the Laws of Conservation of Energy and keeping in mind the material properties of rigid solids and colloids, what direction to expect the head to move? (Hint: You'd be surprised.)

4) Janet arrives home to find her husband of fourteen years in flagrante delicto with the greasy haired pool-boy, love-sweat running down their sculpted pecs, shooting the creases of their toned abdomens like reckless, devil-may-care bobsled hotshots.
     Janet's marriage bed is 12 feet from her bedroom door. Her bed linens are satin, and floors hardwood. Provided that this assignation's love-oil is coating her husband's firm, toned body in a uniform fashion and reducing his coefficient of friction to .3, will he be able to reach Janet at the door and begin his pitiful, blubbering explanation before Janet begins to throttle his slack-eyed punk? (You may assume that both Janet and her husband are moving at a uniform velocity of 6 m/s, and the pool boy is languidly lounging on the bed. Please show all work. Continue on back if necessary.)

5) Under which of the following conditions is murder morally acceptable: (circle any that apply)

  1. self-defense
  2. defense of the helpless
  3. war
  4. euthanasia
  5. husband turns out to be a lying piece of human refuse and has destroyed your life
  6. slutty pool boy.
  7. (other)___________

6) Mercy is for whom:

  1. the strong of heart
  2. the weak
  3. suckers
  4. immaterial
  5. (other)___________

7) What is the best way to dispose of a firearm? (Bonus points to any student willing to carry out such an operation.)

Extra Credit: Muriatic acid will dissolve 1 Kg of muscle in 2.4 minutes and 1 Kg fat in 1.7 minutes. Note that this action is sped up by 1) heating the acid and 2) aerating liberally.

Given that my Janet's husband is was a svelte man of 43 weighing 91 kilos, and the pool boy was a prissy, lazy, sugarbaby nancy boy who was naturally, effortlessly greyhound lean (like, 70 kilos, maybe), how long should I wait to go home to drain and scour the hot tub? (Please show all work. Continue on back if necessary.)

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