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Rant #471
(published January 28, 2010)
Deaf in Venice
by Jimmy Chen
Tom, man, what is up?—what I can barely hear you man— probably your lame ass cell phone dude—what—yah man I'm hanging out at the beach major tight ass chicks all over the place—I said I can barely here you maybe it's from the accident—lost partial hearing in my left ear snowboarding when I hit a tree it rocked—yah I'm chillin' at Venice Beach totally got sweet babes with major racks man—dude I think your connection is bad are you in your mom's basement—what I can't hear you man—yah your voice is all faint maybe it's my ears from the accident I should really have that checked—also just rode a few tight waves dude I got water in my ears so maybe it's that—almost squeezed a Hersey's kiss out in my wetsuit yah that would have majorly not rocked—dude check it—just passed the fortune teller lady think I'm gonna get my future hearing checked then get some corn dogs too before hitting the last run of waves—yah wait what—Thomas man you're like barely audible like you're in the ocean bro—like your kelp n' shit —speak up dude—what—damn bro got this heavy sludge feeling in my ears probably just water but it's starting the throb now feeling kind of dizzy—damn man Tom I totally can't hear you—okay just sat down feeling weird cos there's seagulls above and I don't want to get shit on—yah what—look man this ain't happening I haven't heard a word you said bro—shit dude bird crap just landed like right next to my knee like one inch away man—said I can't get crapped on ever again—what—no forget it I'm just gonna just talk and not try to hear you cos it's impossible I hope you're down with that—seriously bro you got to get out of your mom's basement—move here to LA with me I mean the ocean effing rocks—like when I'm thrown off a sweet wave ten feet high in the air with a nose bleed from a whack from my board—and the frozen red upside down horizon so still like some pretend forever until I fall back into the water upside down—which if you think about it is just like flying.

Jimmy Chen works at a large institution where he enjoys writing. He lives with his wife in San Francisco.

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