Jeff calls me as I sit behind my workstation
I cringe, knowing it's going to be urgent
Things are always critically important and highly pressing with Jeff
No one at the company likes Jeff

But I'm his boss
An unfortunate twist of fate
The type that is unique to work
Imagine the fun

"I've got some good news and some bad news"
Jeff says in a flat monotone
Like a cancer surgeon delivering life-altering news
"Which do you want first?"

"Go ahead and pick either"
I reply, with utter disinterest
With Jeff the news is always bad
"It's your call"

"Okay, I've decided to take another job"
Jeff says and pauses, waiting for my remorse
"Okay" I ask, cracking an unseen smile
"What's the bad news?"

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Thomas Sullivan's memoir about teaching driver's education, Life In The Slow Lane, is available online. "Jeff's Last Call" is a true story.