Poor Mojo's Almanac(k) Classics (2000-2011)
(published January 6, 2005)
The Year in Hate
- I hate that Bush won the election, first and foremost. He is going to try and dismantle every glorious New Deal program that FDR put into place, and no one is going to try and stop him.
- But even more I hate not knowing if he really won the election, what with all of the vote fuckery in Ohio and the rest of America.
- I hate the fucking Democratic party for running such a poor race, for ignoring their base of voters and only going after undecideds. I hate them for trying to blame the loss on Michael Moore, Gavin Newsom and Gay Marriage. I hate them for rolling over so quickly after the election and not putting up any fight.
- I hate checking the list of military dead every month to see if any of my friends have died.
- I hate knowing that the lists are incomplete, vetted by the Pentagon, and don't include people killed by accidents or those who died after leaving the field.
- I hate Joe Lieberman. Admiral Ackbar looking motherfucker never did anything for anyone but Joe Lieberman.
- I hate that so much time and space was given to Janet Jackson's semi-exposed breast. Err, you know what I mean.
- I hate my addiction to computer games. I hate that I played Final Fantasy XI for months before realizing it was just kind of boring.
- I hate trying to explain my job to people and seeing that glazed expression wash over them almost instantly. Everyone appreciates solid editing, even if they don't know that they do.
- I hate the Daredevil movie.
- I hate the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen movie.
- I hate that books and comics that I love keep getting dumbed down and turned into shitty movies. Hellboy was good though, and so was Spiderman 2.
- I hate that Hollywood is going to fuck up the Golden Compass movie. They tossed the script written by Oscar/Pulitizer award winner Sir Tom Stoppard and put the guy who directed American Pie behind the helm. Also, the book is about an oppressive church, neutering children and a grand quest to kill god, yet the studio has said that religion will not appear in the movie. How do you make a film out of a book about killing god that even has angels as characters, and excise religion, you may ask? Simple, you change the evil church and the god figure to be despotic ruler and his evil government.
- I hate that even though I know the Golden Compass movie will be a terrible hollow shell full of termites and biting worms, I'm still going to pay $9.50 to see it.
- I hate Fox News.
- I hate that the only real news on TV is The Daily Show, and that any attempt to talk like fucking grown-ups on TV gets shouted down by ignorant bullies.
- I hate NPR for being such pussies and for reporting every thing the White House says or does with as little of commentary as possible.
- I hate media that is afraid to offend.
- I hate that stem cell research in this country is on hold and full of polluted strains while British scientists have made a crippled man walk and Japanese scientists have cured Parkinson's with stem cells.
- I hate flying, but not because I'm afraid of it. I hate flying because it costs too much, they no longer even offer vegetarian meals, I can't fit my legs comfortably anywhere and the flight attendants aren't paid enough, so now they're rude, too.
- I hate that CEOs get record salaries and companies report record profits while jobs get cut, prices increase, and Social Security is being assaulted.
- I hate that no one talks about Mad Cow disease, and the probabilities that lots of people here in the US are infected with it.
- I hate that so much of my food is full of pesticides, toxins, preservatives and High Fructose Corn Syrup.
- I hate SUVs.
- I hate Hummers.
- I hate that my Governor is Arnold Schwarzenegger.
- I hate stretch SUVs.
- I hate that so many of my friends live 3,000 miles away.
- I hate people that litter. Especially when they're standing next to a trash can.
- I hate that the mass transit in San Francisco doesn't run all night.
- I hate what standardized testing has done to our schools.
- I hate Roseville High School.
- I hate Eric Brescher for stealing Castlevania from me in seventh grade.
- I hate that I don't have a flying car, food pills or a hoverboard yet and it's already 2005! Get with the program scientists.
- I hate lung cancer, bowel cancer, diabetes and arthritis.
- I hate Mark Millar and the lazy way he writes comic books.
- I hate that genre novels don't get any respect, even though millions of people love reading them and they make shit loads of money.
- I hate that comics don't get any respect, either.
- I hate feeling so much hate about so many trivial things, and feeling such hopeless acceptance for so many important and terrible things.
Oh well. Maybe 2005 will be better.
Happy New Year!
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