October 21, 2004Dear Mr. Johnson, Mr. Nelson, and Mr. Swanson,
I was excited to hear that the Giant Squid was going to be making public appearances in the New York area to promote and celebrate the 200th edition of Poor Mojo's Almanac(k). I was even more surprised to hear that he was planning 200 such appearances. I understood he rarely took such actions and felt honored at the idea of possibly taking part in one of these "signings" or "keynote speeches" or "brunches with omelettes that are made especially for me". I was getting ready and actually bought a new pair of socks (dotted with some red near the toe) for the occasion. What would I have him sign? What would I say to him if I actually got to meet him? Could I shake his hand? He has "arms" but hands? Do I actually wear the new socks that I am now having second thoughts over? Can I bring him some sort of gift? Does he like second-hand rollerblades? This was getting very complicated and I was beginning to get a bit nervous. Luckily, I heard that the appearances were just a rumor. The Giant Squid would not be setting a "foot" in New York City. That would just be "silly" one of his publicists later responded to questions regarding the non-events. I did hear however, that 200 two-dimensional renderings of the Giant Squid were going to be placed in different spots around the aforementioned city. What a disappointment.
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