Are leaves the right shape?
Do they wilt too often?
Maybe you get brown around the edges too early, like in August?
Possibly the stems fall because of your sheer weight?
Can animals eat you before post-production?
Is extra surface-area not getting you as far as it used to?
Are there too many of you for comfort?
What if your veins stick out and make you ugly?
Are you objectifying your neighbor?
Are you really certified to be a leaf or are you merely an inauthentic imposter?
What would it take for you to be ready to fall?
Are you the perfect Princess leaf ready for a talent show?

Leaf types:
Jagged & fruitless
Round & covered in felt
Ellipse-shaped in the dirt
Compound pinnate & rotten
Palmate & wrapped around a fish
Leaf position: Whorled; Leaf-Shape: Ovate
Leaf position: Alternate; Leaf-Shape: Kidney
Simple Leaf (Left) vs. Compound Leaf (Right, in your pocket)
Broadly lance-shaped & Worth $10.00
Smooth with pointed lobes (left of center, always votes)
Alternate Mohawk and doubly toothed
Diverse and meeting several forms to be sent to various authorities.