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Fiction #82
(published Early, 2002)
Karma Fucks Back
by Taco es Guido es Stupido es Guadalupe

(a rebuttal to Whispering into the Sky)

It was a quiet car ride and joey was asleep in his car seat. Joey was a happy three year old boy with loving parents who where very rich and very attentive. He had everything a three year old needs or wants. While he was sleeping away his mother started to dose off as well. It had been a long night at the grandparents house for a family reunion. When Joey woke up he was with his grandmother in a hospital room. He asked for his parents but all she said was that they had gone away.

As joey got older his Grandmother, who was very loving and kind, told him about his parents. It took Joey a long time to decide on how to feel about what had happened. Joey was a good church-going type and thought that God must have had a reason for this. Joey was very intelligent and could not rationalize what had happend. By the time he reached puberty it hit him: God had fucked him. That was the only explanation. He just had it too good and God thought it was too easy so God had to fuck him.

Joey went to Catholic school. After three years he developed a plan to get back at God for his parents. As I said, Joey was intelligent, he was witty and charming. He was also blessed with good looks. He knew this; he was not blessed with humbleness. This all fell right into his plan. His parents had left his grandmother with just about enough money to raise him. There was even a little bit left over for him to use for college. On his eighteenth birthday his grandmother presented him with a check for his college fund. He used this check, the last of what his parents had left, to buy a shiny new convertible sports car.

He was now a chick magnet. Eighteen, good looking, charming and he had a convertible. The girls in the halls of the Blessed Virgin Catholic Academy had no chance. There was a little piece of God in three year old Joey's heart. God fucked it right out of him. Joey was going to fuck it out of every school girl he could. That would teach God. Fuck Joey and Joey fucks back.

Joey remembered something as he answered the phone. He remembered in his religion class at school he learned of a concept in Eastern religions. Karma seemed like it must have been bullshit. But for some reason, as he spoke to Shelly (operation fuck god #23), karma seemed to make sense to him as she uttered the words "I'm pregnant, Joey". Being the good Catholic Shelly was until she recently had it fucked out of her, she did not believe abortion was an option. Instead the two where married.

Joey took a job as a bowling alley mechanic and Shelly was a full time mom. Neither had the time nor money for the college education they should have had. Joey wanted to fuck God for not knowing what parents were like. Now he was about to find out. He decided God wasn't real. It was karma he was trying to fuck. Karma fucks back.

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