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Fiction #417
(published January 15, 2009)
Slip the Bright Lantango!
by Duke Ryder
Crunchy. That was the only way to describe the foreign dish that was painfully and slowly making its way down my throat. The evil Doquin, noticing my anguish, laughed a rather effeminate laugh. As soon as I had finished the rancid dish that was in front of me I pushed out my chair, and my burly chest and asked the villain just what it was that he wanted. Doquin, slowly petting a monkey wearing a sharp vest, responded that he wanted me out of the picture. "No way girlfriend!," I responded to my bi-curious adversary. No sooner had these words escaped the bastille that was my mouth when the sharp dressed monkey leaped onto my shoulder and gave me the most furious primate beat down of my life. When he had finished rearranging my face to match his monkey wishes he returned to his perch aside Doquin. "You must forgive my monkey," chortled my nemesis, "he can be so impetuous." I tried to gather myself but Doquin let out a frightening shriek, his breath laden with eastern spices. When the sword wielding, half dressed men entered the room I let out a whimper which silently begged, "not in the crotch."

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