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July 20, 2008

Bitch About Work, Win Some Money!

[this post will stick to the top of the page all day Saturday; scroll down for newer news] Poor Mojo's Almanac(k) is pleased to remind you about their latest $33-and-a-third Meritorious Boon rant contest: Bad Job, Good Times; Good Job, Bad Times.
  1. Write a rant about either a) the best experience you ever had while working an otherwise terrible job, or b) the worst thing that ever happened to you as a part of an otherwise great job
  2. Be sure you're following the rules
  3. Submit your rant online (be sure to choose "GOOD JOB BAD RANT" as the "Submission type"!)
  4. Win!(?)
the small print:
  • There is NO entry or "reading" fee for any Thirty-Three-and-a-third Contest.
  • Entries must be less than 3000 words long, and comply with our normal Submissions Guidelines.
  • All entries are due NO LATER THAN AUGUST 31, 2008.

July 16, 2008

Oh Fuck! Thomas Disch Killed Himself!

. . . and I have to hear about it from strangers! Newswireitos, where the hell were you guys on...

July 13, 2008

(K)ORRECTION: I Sincerely Regret My Inadvertent Mischaracterization of the Japanese

In response to this post,Poor Mojo Newswire: Dear Japan: I mean, what the fuck, people?, Mojonaut Brendan wrote: In the...

July 10, 2008

Anyone Else Loosing Faith in Obama?

I'm posting this link not because it is saying much anything radical (it is actually really kids-glovey and reserved), but...

July 08, 2008

In Contrast to Mojo, I Applaud the New American Meretriciousness

Piggybacking on Mojo's JEZEBEL WRITERS SHOW UP DRUNK TO INTERVIEW, SAY AWFULLY DUMB THINGS post: "These women are shining a...

Turns Out That Someone Is Thinking About the Children

The Blingdom of God: Cthulhu for Kids License Plate *thanks Alecks!*...

POOR MOJO'S CORRECTIONS: "Patriot Dean Kamen Is, No Doubt, Rolling in his Grave"

In response to this post, astute Mojonaut Mike B wrote: Dean Kamen is a live person. In my defense, I...

July 05, 2008

The Dirtiest Possible Pirate Song

A legitimate classic. Next time someone gets on about how much coarser and more foul popular culture is now than...

Oh, AWESOME!

Superfriends visuals meets Sarah Silverman's cameo in The Way of the Gun (original scene after the jump, kittens) YouTube -...

These Hot French Rockers Courtesy of Mojonaut Alecks

Who just sent as, like, 40 tips (in case you hadn't noticed) YouTube - the plastiscines-loser *Alecks: Do not stop...

Dear Japan: I mean, what the fuck, people?

YouTube - Lucky☆Star OP Full Dance by Zombies I can't BELIEVE we lost a war to these people. *thanks to...

Why I'm Voting Republican

YouTube - I'm Voting Republican *Thanks Mojonaut Alecks!*...

July 04, 2008

Patriot Dean Kamen is, No Doubt, Rolling in his Grave

Anti-terrorist drill in Shangdong_English_Xinhua " href="http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2008-07/03/content_8479901.htm"> Anti-terrorist drill in Shangdong_English_Xinhua Are those Segways or are those cheap Chinese knock-off...

June 06, 2008

It's 92-degrees in Michigan . . .

. . . which means it's time to TIghten Up, Mojonauts! YouTube - Archie Bell & The Drells - Tighten...

June 04, 2008

This is exactly like that dream where you're in the mall naked . . .

This kid's recovery from what was, no doubt, a nightmare-made-real moment, deserves some sort of special spelling bee prize....

May 23, 2008

Once Again, BBC Reports from the Wilds of the Colonies . . .

BBC NEWS | Americas | US car dealer in free gun offer A car dealership in the United States is...

May 20, 2008

They Like Me! They Really, Really Like Me!

The Fix | Paradox, #12, Spring 2008 The issue of Paradox featuring my novella, "Tucker Teaches the Clockies to Copulate,"...

May 14, 2008

Israel Celebrates My Birth, Palestine Labels it an "Ongoing Catastrophe"

Ahmad Samih Khalidi: Israel's celebration remains a Palestinian catastrophe | Comment is free | The Guardian In recognition of my...

They Ain't Clowning Around: The Radical Honesty of Circus Freaks

Believe it or not, while the Poor Mojo's Media Empire does cover its own expenses (Buy a book or t-shirt!...

May 12, 2008

Internet, Running Low on Conventional Creepy, Creates Whole New Categories of Creepy

ManBabies.com - DAD? GET MORE AT ManBabies.com!...

May 11, 2008

Chicago Mojonauts: Meet and Greet a Trusted "Friend"!

We're pleased to announce that Poor Mojo's Giant Squid will participate in a reading in Chicago in late May: The...

Chicago Mojonauts: Meet and Greet a Trusted "Friend"!

We're pleased to announce that Poor Mojo's Giant Squid will participate in a reading in Chicago in late May: The...

Chicago Mojonauts: Meet and Greet a Trusted "Friend"!

We're pleased to announce that Poor Mojo's Giant Squid will participate in a reading in Chicago in late May: The...

Old Gaffers Kickin' Ass on the Wii

Technology permits the infirm to once again box and play tennis. I can say, without irony, that this is...

May 07, 2008

Hiring Our Nation's New Plumber

ill doctrine: a hip-hop video blog I love you, Jay Smooth....

Dave-o Sells his Novelette, Makes his Mother Proud

Dear Faithful Mojonauts, I'm pleased announce that Paradox magazine has published my novelette, "Tucker Teaches the Clockies to Copulate," in their current issue, #12. This 17,500 word story (the longest piece they've published so far) discusses what happens when a crippled, alcoholic Confederate veteran living in the Utah Territory teaches clockwork robots to have sex. I am confident that, after reading the above description, your impressions of the story are entirely accurate. This same issue also includes historical fiction set in the Antebellum South, medieval China, Elizabethan England, and the Spanish Civil War, as well as original art, poetry, and reviews. It is a steal at just $6. Please, click the above links, then buy a copy, share it with six friends, and sing my praises to the Moon. Thank you, and goodnight.

April 30, 2008

Poll Tax by Proxy?

Supreme Court Upholds Voter Identification Law in Indiana - New York Times I've been listening to the Diane Rehm show...

OH MY CHRIST JESUS WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!

BBC NEWS | Science/Nature | Colossal squid's big eye revealed These are just the fucking lenses, not the whole eye!...

Albert Hofmann -- Father of LSD -- dead at 102

Albert Hofmann is Dead: Albert Hofmann Foundation His primary contribution to humanity: LSD -- My Problem Child. The BBC is...

The Importance of Linebreaks

YouTube - Insane News Man...

April 28, 2008

"Cows can take over everything. But how do we get rid of the cows?"

Overheard Everywhere | Hamburgers, That's How Non-native presenting for speech class: Everyone has cows in their life. Cows at home....

April 25, 2008

Man, I Haven't Thought About this Song in Ages

(via ze's page :: zefrank.com: the meme.)...

April 24, 2008

Dear Japan: What the FUCK, People?!?

BBC NEWS | Asia-Pacific | Dozens hit by Japan 'suicide gas' A Japanese teenager has committed suicide by mixing common...

April 21, 2008

Why Doesn't Anyone Love Me?

Poor Mojo's Rant -- Why Doesn't Anyone Love Me? (Taking a moment to add a couple of our most popular Rants to the Greatest Hits rolls.)
Why Doesn't Anyone Love Me? by Jason Michael First of all, before we get any deeper into this painful subject, I'd just like to make one thing perfectly clear: this is not a cry for help. Rather, it is a rational, clear-headed observation of my current relationship situation. What the hell is wrong with me? Why doesn't anyone love me? I can't figure it out. I am, by my own account, a complete gentleman, a fine lover, and an ideal mate. Why are these plain truths lost on the female population? Let's examine the facts in the case. . . .
(UPDATE: Since this Rant was first published in 2000, Mr. Michael has found the love of his life and married her. Mazel tov!)