Poor Mojo's Newswire

1) Logically, if "barebacking" means having butt sex with no condom, then "saddlebacking" should mean having butt sex with a condom.

2) Saddleback (verb): to submit someone to any kind of humiliating, unreciprocal sex act, either literally or metaphorically, consented to by passive partner due to submissive/masochistic tendencies, desire for approval, or other darker motive. E.g., "I don't know why Obama is letting Rick Warren saddleback him into presiding over his inauguration."

3) The saddleback position involves placing your lubed dick between the butt cheeks of your partner. This position can be performed on your sides or on top of a facedown partner (maybe with a pillow under his or her hips). My favorite way of finishing up the saddlebacking is to lift up and come on my wife's sweaty back. The saddleback is a nice compromise position when your partner won't allow anal entry.

4) To saddleback is to rail against gay sex in public while secretly indulging in the same in private. Ted Haggard? Total saddlebacker. Larry Craig? Saddlebacker. Rick Warren? Probably a saddlebacker.

5) "Saddlebacking" should be the term for the phenomenon of Christian teens engaging in unprotected anal sex in order to preserve their virginities. "After attending the Purity Ball, Heather and Bill saddlebacked all night because she's saving herself for marriage." Please, please adopt this definition!

NEW ORLEANS - It was almost subtle. Prominent First Amendment attorney H. Louis Sirkin received an order this morning from the U.S. District Court in Austin, Texas requiring the parties in the case of Reliable Consultants, Inc. v. Earle to submit a written status report on the case - but the big news was this sentence: "On October 29, 2008, counsel for the State of Texas informed the Court by telephone that the State does not intend to seek a writ of certiorari in this cause."

What that means is that the decision by a three-judge panel of the Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals on Feb. 12, which overturned Texas' obscene device law, remains the law of the land, at least in the three states that form the Fifth Judicial Circuit: Texas, Louisiana and Mississippi.

"The panel decision actually reaffirmed what Judge [Gary] Lancaster had done in Pittsburgh," Sirkin told AVN, referring to Lancaster's landmark opinion dismissing obscenity charges against Extreme Associates - charges which were later reinstated by the Third Circuit. "He really upheld that there's a substantive due process right of individuals to buy that which can excite them in the privacy of their own homes. And the key word is 'buy,' as in 'to buy and to have available to them for sale for that type of home environment.' And that's part of the argument that was used in the Reliable decision, that sex is not just for procreation; that this case recognizes a right of auto-eroticism - in other words, masturbation."