Poor Mojo's Newswire

[R]eportedly vodka-in-a-tampon is the new rage among under-age drinkers. Just Google it -- everybody agrees the trend is huge. Here's our own HuffPost suggesting the practice is a full-blown trend amongst teenagers. Boys can apparently achieve the same effect by something called "butt chugging." Soaking a tampon in vodka and then... re-inserting it somehow... is supposed to produce the "ultimate body shot" -- a fast, intense buzz (the alcohol is allegedly absorbed more quickly than by mouth), with no tell-tale alcohol breath for mom or the police to detect. I first heard about this trend a couple of years ago from another mother: She said her teenage daughter had heard about it from one of her friends, who'd heard that another girl they kinda knew had done it, and OMG how gross was that? I was repulsed but credulous. After all, you have to credit teenagers with this: They are Nobel-level geniuses when it comes to figuring out stupid things to do, especially stupid things involving booze. After our HuffPost report last week, I asked my 18-year-old son whether he had ever heard of anyone doing the tampon trick. We were driving to school at the time, and he answered with his usual early morning vocabulary of monosyllables punctuated by grunts: "Uh uh. No. Wait. [Cousin] told me bout it. Once. Some girl. At his school. Maybe. Dunno."

For those of you who may not be familiar with it, here's what you might call the "high points," if you were feeling charitable: There's this girl named Bella who talks about how smart she is4 despite appearing to be about as dumb as a sack of doorknobs, and she's in love with this vampire named Edward, who is himself so dumb that he's spent the last century doing nothing but going to high schools. He's also a total psycho stalker who does things like secretly watching her sleep, following her around when she's out with other people, and telling her who she can and cannot associate with. So, you know, a total catch. There's also this kid named Jacob who is literally a werewolf with a dirtbike, yet somehow manages to be way less awesome than that sounds. There's a love triangle that plays out in stories that claim to be based on Pride and Prejudice and Romeo & Juliet in the same way that, say, the Christmas episode of Xena: Warrior Princess is based on Charles Dickens and the New Testament. At the start of the movie, Edward and Bella are getting married. Actually, wait, that's a lie. At the start of the movie, the very first thing that we see is Taylor Lautner walking out of his house and taking his shirt off. Seriously. This is the first shot of the entire film. Say what you want about how the rest of this thing is aggressively terrible on just about every level, but it does its level best to live up to its own stereotype. Once he has turned into a wolf and run up to Canada for a while, it's time for Edward and Bella's wedding, as organized by what appears to be an extremely sexy Vulcan named Alice5. All of this is pretty much explicitly stated to be building up to Edward and Bella finally having sex, which they have of course saved until after their wedding because, you know, you always want your necrophilia to be fully sanctioned in the eyes of the Lord. . . .

The article identified 70 different ingredients that go into the boneless, rib-shaped, sauce-slathered concoction. Azodicarbonamide is one ingredient found in the sandwich's bun and, according to Healthland, is most commonly used in the manufacturing of foam gym mats and the soles of shoes. The blog also noted that the 70 ingredients, including Azodicarbonamide, exist in very small quantities and will almost certainly leave anyone eating a McRib unharmed. Still, Azodicarbonamide is a substance banned in Europe and strictly regulated by the FDA. Even if the McRib won't harm you outright it is, like most other things, best enjoyed in moderation. On top of its ingredient list, keep in mind that one of the sandwiches, which is offered for a limited time, comes in at 500 calories with 980 mg of sodium.