Poor Mojo's Newswire

It's not just nuclear weapons proliferating on the Korean peninsula these days. In a move that for once is not considered a threat to regional and global security, the North Korean government has recommended a relatively generous range of 28 hairstyles for its citizens, claiming that they are "the most comfortable" styles and capable of warding off the corrupting effects of capitalism, according to ifeng.com, a news website run by Hong Kong's Phoenix TV network. Pictures can be seen on the walls of hair salons around the country showing the approved styles for men and women. Spiky hair is forbidden, as are quiffs — the nation has learned the baleful lesson from the decadent South that outrageous hairstyles may lead to the formation of effete boy bands or to pervasive mental health problems whereby people hallucinate riding invisible horses. Under no circumstances should you enter a North Korean barber shop and ask for your hair to be cut "Gangnam Style." The list of 18 acceptable female hairstyles show North Korean women are given more choice in their coiffeur after they wed. Approved styles for single women are simple but married women are permitted to indulge in a few extra stylistic flourishes. This also has the useful effect of establishing whether a woman is married or not at a glance. If you like it, then you should have put some curlers in it, to paraphrase Beyonce.

A Russian cruise ship has been adrift in the North Atlantic since January, after breaking free from a towing line as it was being delivered from Canada to a scrapyard in the Dominican Republic. The Lyubovy Orlova, built in 1976, once operated as a cruise ship, exploring the icy waters of Antarctica. In 2010, she was seized at St. John's harbor in Newfoundland following a suit by a haulage contractor against the Russian owners over $250,000 in unpaid fees. The ship remained tied up for more than two years before it was sold to Caribbean buyers in February 2012. On Jan. 23 of this year, the derelict ship left Canada for the Dominican Republic to be scrapped, but its towing cable snapped a day later. The ship escaped again after it was secured by a supply vessel on Jan. 31. It then drifted into international waters. Transport Canada claims they are no longer responsible for the ship and that there's little chance of it drifting back under Canadian jurisdiction. Meanwhile, according to a document from a US intelligence agency, obtained by the AFP, the abandoned ship was recently seen about 1,300 nautical miles off the coast of Ireland, and is drifting toward Europe.

Tokyo, Japan – A bank robber was apprehended today in Tokyo after stopping to talk with none other than Bill Murray. “The man robbed the Bank of Tokyo-Mitsubishi, ran out, saw Bill Murray walking on the street and stopped to talk to him. That’s when authorities were able to apprehend him,” Tokyo Police Chief Yakuza Mori told reporters. Bill Murray who is in Tokyo promoting a new movie told reporters about the incident. “I saw this man in the street running towards me with a bag in his hand. Then he suddenly stopped when he saw me. He asked me if I was Bob Harris, the character I played in Lost in Translation. I told him, ‘sure, why not’. Then he started telling me how much he loved me and how great he thought I was. “I was polite, I told him that was very nice of him to say. Then kind of out of nowhere, police showed up and tackled the man,” Murray said.