Poor Mojo's Newswire

Create And Personalize Your Avatar In Mass Affect, players will assume the role of a part-time photography studio receptionist named Shepard. After choosing Shepard's age, sex, tattoo placement, sexual preference, and slightly-edgier stated sexual preference, players wil be able to customize their character's appearance through an innovative, intuitive "blind dressing" interface that simulates the act of putting on clothes while standing in a lightless room. Also, players can invest in vintage sewing machines, re-purposed fabric, and online make-it-yourself clothing guides, resulting in over one million possible character outfits that, while composed of entirely different materials, all manage to look like ill-fitting ass. An Epic Quest Mass Affect tells a compelling, Emotionally Engaging story of a single hero facing overwhelming odds. An unknown menace is threatening the outer fringes of the known galaxy (south of 24th street) as unemployed artists, bike messengers, apparently college-educated homeless people, and design-studio interns have begun to vanish at an alarming rate. Shepard must recruit a motley crew to venture into the lawless "Outer Mission" and discover the truth behind the mysterious disappearances. The quest will take Shepard through the whole of San Francisco, from the cold reaches of the Outer Sunset to the corrupt corporate bustle of the Financial District, revealing a sinister plot to force young people to get jobs and reasonable haircuts. . . .

Calling to mind any number of Home Improvement episodes, police say a 62-year-old Independence Township man was hospitalized Sunday after strapping a homemade rocket to his back while sledding. Fox 2 reports the rocket -- a combination of gunpowder, match heads and gasoline stuffed in a motorcycle muffler -- exploded during a downhill ride at a party he hosted. “Apparently, he has this sledding party every year, and he always does outrageous things at it, but he’s never blown himself up before,” Oakland County Undersheriff Mike McCabe told the Detroit Free Press.

Take a class every night with a range of specialized teachers in exchange for basic items and services. Secure a spot in a Trade School class by meeting one of the teacher’s barter needs.

A sheep gave birth to a dead lamb with a human-like face. The lamb was born in a village not far from the city of Izmir, Turkey. Erhan Elibol, a vet, performed a caesarean on the animal to take the lamb out, but was horrified to see that the features of the lamb’s snout bore a striking resemblance to a human face.

Back when I was a boy, I bought a children's book at my town's library book sale called "2010: Living in the Future" by Geoffrey Hoyle. Written in 1972, it had been withdrawn from the library's collection by the mid-80s, when I picked it up. I've somehow managed to hang onto it for 25 years and now, suddenly, here we are: 2010. I'm reproducing this long out-of-print book here to see how we're doing. Are we really living in the future? | a project by Daniel Sinker Note: This is easily the saddest paragraph in the book.