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May 13, 2008

Dating advice from the Grand Theft Auto FAQ

McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Good Advice From a Grand Theft Auto Dating FAQ.

[I]f you kill a girl through abuse, she will no longer be your girlfriend.

The main reason to date a girl ... is to get stuff from her.

If you raise your relationship level with a girl to 100% you'll be given a special outfit.

. . .

If you let her shoot you until you die, your relationship with her will go up by 10%.

. . .

I'm not sure the exact conditions required to get dumped by a girl, but it can definitely happen.

Katie lies all the time.

Barcelona forced to ship in water

BBC NEWS | Science/Nature | Ships bring water to parched Barcelona

Now the Barcelona authorities are having to take the unprecedented step for any major European city of topping up supplies by the highly visible means of giant tankers arriving in relays, each bringing 28 million litres, up to a dozen ships coming over the next month.

The shipments won't be enough to restore the reservoirs - or make the ancient village vanish again.

San Francisco installing homeless meters

S.F. parking meters retooled to aid homeless

(05-12) 19:45 PDT -- Rather than tossing loose change into a panhandler's empty cup, San Francisco officials want you instead to slide your spare quarters and nickels into a homeless meter.

The city's latest attempt to deal with one of its most vexing problems will be announced in coming weeks in the form of 10 old parking meters installed in some of the most heavily panhandled areas, The Chronicle has learned.

Money deposited in the meters would go directly to charities that help the homeless. The goal, officials say, is to reduce panhandling and to educate tourists and residents about the problem of giving money directly to people on the streets.

May 12, 2008

Swim at Your Own Risk -- It's Never Safe

You gotta admire the single-mindedness. swimatyourownrisk.com
Swim At Your Own Risk is your daily dose of all things sharky… oh, and we’ll also try to fill you in on any other aquatic antics we stumble upon.
via Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier's SModcast

May 11, 2008

A Brief History Of Cars Crashing Through Walls On Sitcoms

We thank thee, Internet, for what we are about to receive... via | College Humor | A Brief History Of Cars Crashing Through Walls On Sitcoms
One of the defining characteristics of the traditional sitcom is the presence of three walls, which means driving a car through one of those walls is one of the most exciting things that can possibly happen.
Oh, I dunno about that.

Clown-car update: Michelle continues her older daughters' enslavement

Happy Mother's Day: Woman pregnant with 18th child
LITTLE ROCK, Ark. (AP) — It's a happy Mother's Day for an Arkansas woman — she's pregnant with her 18th child. Michelle Duggar, 41, is due on New Year's Day, and the latest addition will join seven sisters and 10 brothers. There are two sets of twins. "We've had three in January, three in December. Those two months are a busy time for us," she said, laughing. The Duggars' oldest child, Josh, is 20, and the youngest, Jennifer, is nine months old. The fast-growing family lives in Tontitown in northwest Arkansas in a 7,000-square-foot home. All the children — whose names start with the letter J — are home-schooled. Duggar has been been pregnant for more than 11 years of her life, and the family is in the process of filming another series for Discovery Health.
How I got kicked out of the Feminists' Men's Auxiliary: Links to Us: "Klown Kar Kapers," or, "Why I hate broads." | "I love my cigar, too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while." -- Groucho Marx

May 09, 2008

Teens suspected of making a bong out of a child's skull

3 accused of using Humble corpse's head to smoke pot | Chron.com - Houston Chronicle

The Kingwood teenager's story of decapitating a corpse and using the head to smoke marijuana was so outlandish that at first Houston Police Department senior police officer Jim Adkins did not believe it.

. . .

Houston police believe the teens disturbed the grave of an 11-year-old boy who died in 1921.

The child was buried at an unmarked cemetery believed to be reserved for black veterans and their families, Adkins said.

Under the law, a person can be charged with abuse of a corpse simply by vandalizing, damaging or treating a gravesite offensively — even if the human remains buried there are not touched, Adkins said.

Dog found wearing collar of fishhooks

15 Fish Hooks Surround Dog's Neck - News Story - WPXI Pittsburgh

BULLSKIN TOWNSHIP, Pa. -- A cruel collar forced a dog to undergo surgery. The mixed breed border collie was found wearing a collar full of fishhooks; and one of the hooks created a hole in the dog's neck.

Humane officers at the SPCA in North Union told Channel 11 this was an unusual case of animal cruelty and they have no idea who is responsible or why someone would do something so terrible.

The dog is recovering from surgery to remove a fish hook from his neck -- one of 15 that someone had attached to the inside of his collar.