Poor Mojo's Newswire

"I certainly get a lot more out of it than they do," a subdued Stewart said after dinner. His visits with the troops hasn't softened his position on what he calls a "dopey" war: "If anything, it's made me angrier. . . . You can be for the war, against the war, but you can't be uninformed about it. To see the human cost is part of the equation."

Stewart was presented the group's Merit Award by Gen. James Cartwright, vice chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Tuesday's trip also included a stop at Arlington Cemetery to lay a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknowns. The one thing he hasn't done? Go on a USO trip to Iraq. "I would go there but I'm chicken [poop]," he said.

Alan Day, the village hall chairman, said: "All hell let loose at this event. The children were drunk to the eyeballs. They were having sex in the village square standing up."

Neil Taplin, the landlord of the nearby George and Dragon pub, said that youths had urinated against his wall and sworn at him when he refused to sell them cigarettes. "They were a law to themselves," he said. "It was upsetting for people in the village. We are all quite close and look out for each other."

A resident involved in the clean-up said that she saw evidence of drug use, blood stains and broken glass and said that a newly fitted sink had been smashed.

-- Sending your kids off to fight in a war being run very poorly by rich old white people.

-- Allowing many of those kids to die thanks to crappy equipment provided by companies owned by rich old white people.

-- Watching media controlled exclusively by a small number of rich old white people.

-- Consuming tainted medicine or bad meat because government regulatory agencies have been gutted by rich old white people.

-- Getting boned on your pension by investment firms run by rich old white people.

-- Watching your house lose value because of financial screw-ups by rich old white people.

-- Losing said house because your kid's cancer treatments aren't covered by insurance companies run by rich old white people.

-- Losing your job because your company's been moved to Belize by rich old white people.

-- Watching government records being blatantly destroyed by rich old white people.

-- Cheering while the Constitution is used to wipe the ass of several rich old white people.