Poor Mojo's Newswire

Two decades ago, when young girls wondered how brides were supposed to look and behave, they'd most likely conclude—with some prompting from Cinderella—that on their big day they'd be a princess. They'd be blushing, virginal and wrapped from head to toe in tulle and lace. So why is it that these days, some brides seem to be taking their cues more from Jessica Rabbit than Cinderella? More vamp than virgin, they're having bachelorette parties that are as raunchy as their fianc�s' sendoffs. They're selecting cleavage- or lower-back-baring bridal gowns that might get a gasp from conservative relatives. "A big-selling style is a sheer lace corset midriff," says Millie Martini Bratten, the editor in chief of Brides magazine. "It's clearly meant to look like you're seeing through someone's shirt." And today's wife-to-be is hiring photographers for what are called "boudoir shoots," where they pose Maxim magazine-style in lingerie or nothing at all and give the prints to their grooms—a trend that Bratten says began about three years ago. "It's the ultimate display of freedom and empowerment," says Bee-Bee Kim, the Weddingbee.com, a wedding-planning site that gets more than a million unique visitors a month. . . . This is, after all, is a generation that is comfortable with "sexting" and posting provocative pictures of themselves on Facebook and MySpace. And it's an age when respected actresses and role models pose seductively on the covers of the lad magazines. "In American society now, you see little girls being sexed up," says Chrys Ingraham, a sociologist and author of White Weddings: Romancing Heterosexuality in Popular Culture, a critique of the wedding industry. "You can't disconnect that from the way the wedding industry is going. We have 13-year-olds getting makeovers and having oral sex."

LEACH: How would you encourage gay couples to be able to provide for their families? EICHELBERGER: Well, I wouldn't. LEACH: What would you expect of them? EICHELBERGER: There is no reason to encourage that type of behavior in Pennsylvania...That comes back to the definition of family and that’s where we differ. We can call all kinds of things families. I mean, we can say a 3 party marriage is a family, or 7 or 8 people or marrying younger and younger children these days . HOST: Are you saying that by their very nature homosexual relationships are dysfunctional? EICHELBERGER: [Pause] Um. I guess I would say that. I would say that. LEACH: Should our only policy towards [same-sex] couples be one of punishment, to somehow prove that they’ve done something wrong? Eichelberger: They’re not being punished. We’re allowing them to exist, and do what every American can do. We’re just not rewarding them with any special designation.

Though the small sign has been there for years, it's suddenly making a big statement amid the national debate over gay marriage. While most gay bars continue to welcome the raucous brides to be, Zaharakis's bar Cocktail is fighting for what he sees as a fundamental right, and his patrons - along with some peeved bachelorettes - are taking notice. "I'm totally losing money because of it, but I don't want the money," Zaharakis said. "I would rather not have the money than host an event I didn't believe in." Gay bars are popular with bachelorettes, both for the over-the-top drag shows that some offer and for the ability to let loose in a place where women are unlikely to be groped or ogled. Some bars welcome the women and their free spending, even advertising weekend shows. . . . "It is throwing it in our face that they can get married and we can't," said Dion Contreras, a 29-year-old Chicago litigation manager, while having a drink at Cocktail with friends. "I just think they're ignorant to our situation. I want women to think twice about this issue."