Poor Mojo's Newswire

There are people who go into the military for all kinds of reasons. Some have a family history of service, some are looking for a path to a college education, and some have been compelled to do so by some of the events of the past few years, but the gay soldiers? Totally in it for the sex. If you've never met a gay person or even had the slightest question about how we operate: let me assure you that it is quite true. We are sex-obsessed deviants, and if you ever think for a second that we're anything more, well then I guess the goal of the Homosexual Agenda has been reached and we can all do brunch. Hell, maybe a few of us can get married and Destroy Traditional Marriage while we're at it. The way some of the survey questions are structured is enough to make one think that its creators are as obsessed with gay sexuality as those who practice it regularly. In fact, the survey really hit the nail on the head with the whole shower thing. I wasn't able to shower for the first three weeks of my tour in Iraq, and what do you think I was looking forward to the most when I finally got the opportunity to take one? Was it perhaps the opportunity to remove the thick film of gruel that encased my skin no matter how many times I wiped myself down with the wet naps provided with our meals? If you thought that, you were wrong. It was obviously the opportunity to sneak a peek at other soldiers in the showers, soldiers who were equally if not more as disgusting as me at that point. Sexy, right? I sure thought so, but imagine my SHOCK that there were private showers! In Iraq! It was almost enough to make me want to give my two weeks' notice right then and there. I was all set to do my legwork and try to dig up the surveys that they gave the troops when they integrated African-Americans and females into the military when I found that they didn't. Can you imagine? Leaders during that time actually issued an order and didn't survey the troops under their command about their feelings on the matter. It kind of makes me sad that this overwhelming concern with the troops' feelings when it comes to enacting change in the military is such a new thing, because if it weren't, I know I would've had plenty to say about going to serve in Iraq and that they would've had to have created a fairly lengthy survey to convince me.

(CNN) -- Switzerland will not send Oscar-winning filmmaker Roman Polanski to the United States to face sentencing for child sex charges, the Ministry of Justice announced Monday. He is now free, the ministry said. Polanski pleaded guilty in Los Angeles, California to having unlawful sex with a 13-year-old girl in 1977 but fled to Europe before he was sentenced. He was arrested in Switzerland last year and had been fighting extradition since then. Switzerland was not making a decision about the severity of the charge or whether Polanski was guilty, Justice Minister Eveline Widmer-Schlumpf said. "It's not about qualifying the crime. That is not our job. It's also not about deciding over guilt or innocence," she said. The Swiss rejected the American request because the United States did not supply all the legal records Switzerland requested, and because Polanski had a reasonable right to think he would not be arrested if he visited the country, she said.