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April 03, 2012

"You want a physicist to speak at your funeral."

Planning Ahead Can Make a Difference in the End : NPR
You want a physicist to speak at your funeral. You want the physicist to talk to your grieving family about the conservation of energy, so they will understand that your energy has not died. You want the physicist to remind your sobbing mother about the first law of thermodynamics; that no energy gets created in the universe, and none is destroyed. You want your mother to know that all your energy, every vibration, every Btu of heat, every wave of every particle that was her beloved child remains with her in this world. You want the physicist to tell your weeping father that amid energies of the cosmos, you gave as good as you got. And at one point you'd hope that the physicist would step down from the pulpit and walk to your brokenhearted spouse there in the pew and tell him that all the photons that ever bounced off your face, all the particles whose paths were interrupted by your smile, by the touch of your hair, hundreds of trillions of particles, have raced off like children, their ways forever changed by you. And as your widow rocks in the arms of a loving family, may the physicist let her know that all the photons that bounced from you were gathered in the particle detectors that are her eyes, that those photons created within her constellations of electromagnetically charged neurons whose energy will go on forever. And the physicist will remind the congregation of how much of all our energy is given off as heat. There may be a few fanning themselves with their programs as he says it. And he will tell them that the warmth that flowed through you in life is still here, still part of all that we are, even as we who mourn continue the heat of our own lives. And you'll want the physicist to explain to those who loved you that they need not have faith; indeed, they should not have faith. Let them know that they can measure, that scientists have measured precisely the conservation of energy and found it accurate, verifiable and consistent across space and time. You can hope your family will examine the evidence and satisfy themselves that the science is sound and that they'll be comforted to know your energy's still around. According to the law of the conservation of energy, not a bit of you is gone; you're just less orderly. Amen.

April 02, 2012

You're reading Abhay's tumblr, right?

When he isn't pulling out obscure comedy genius bits from YouTube he is having a categorical meltdown at a FroYo joint in LA. We have these places in LA that are— you pull a...
But some small part of me that’s still human and still has dignity, buried underneath a mountain of cookie dough and whatever the heck mochi is— that part of me looks at the big trough of donut chunks that yogurt-eaters are expected to ladle onto their “low-fat” yogurt and … It’s not the opening credits of The Prisoner or anything, but that part of me wants to rise up and say something’s gone wrong here and we’re human beings and our lives were meant for more than this and that being fattened up by corporations before they slaughter us is a fairy tale story not an inescapable prophecy that we should see erupting out of a heap of powdered donuts. But I’m not rising up to do anything cause I’m too busy eating a bowl of sugar with some small quantity of yogurt presumably underneath it somewhere.

March 28, 2012

Is your dating site selling your profile? Probably.

Struggling sites are buying up the profiles from intermediary sellers to make their pool of single people look fuller, vibrant. Is Your Dating Site Selling Your Profile? To Keep Membership High, Niche Sites Get Sly | Betabeat — News, gossip and intel from Silicon Alley 2.0.
Angela is a 34-year-old single woman from Alabama. She’s a Leo. According to her online dating profile, she is 5’8” with blue eyes and dark brown hair. “I am a creative, witty, intelligent girl looking for someone to shower with all my love and affection!” she declares, appending a smiley face. Angela was included in a 1,000-pack of allegedly single, supposedly American women, which Betabeat purchased for $35. Her profile is one of a purported 14.9 million for sale on SaleDatingProfiles.com, where the inventory also includes 10,000 U.K. profiles for $200; 15,000 Russians for $240, and 70,000 Australians for $95. A pack of 2,500 lesbian profiles goes for $120, or 4.8 cents apiece; gay men are .003 cents each and are sold in a pack of 410,000. “High quality Gays adult dating profiles for sale with multiplay photos located in USA, United Kingdom, Canada and other countries,” the offer states. At the time of writing, SaleDatingProfiles was having a 75-percent-off spring sale. Angela, who asked that her last name be withheld, has been dating online for years. But she never imagined her profile was for sale on the open market, or that it now appears on MeetGirlsGuys.com, which she never signed up for. “I have never even heard of that site!” she said, adding that she lives in Texas, not Alabama, and the photo is at least seven years old. Online dating is a fast-growing industry, with current revenues estimated to run between $1.5 and $3 billion a year. But every new dating site faces the same problem: finding souls to mate. Recruiting new customers is expensive; industry experts put the customer acquisition price at $1 to $5 per person. . . .