~*Crushed*Glass*~ - Chris vs Twilight, Chapters 1 through ...
Chris Sims, the internet superstar and dirtbike champion, has always made it a point of reading things so you don't have to. First it was the breast-centric "Tarot: Witch of the Black Rose" which is one of the worst comic series ever written, and once featured a recipient of a cursed organ donation who ended up with a haunted vagina
Next Chris tackled the comic adaptation of a Laurel K Hamilton comic series based upon her popular (though I don't understand why) Anita Blake series, in which Anita Blake is drawn terribly and stands around a lot.
Continuing in his public artistic masochism, Chris has begun liveblogging his read of the execrable "Twilight" series. Or at least the first book. Though I honestly doubt he'll be able to finish it. He's doing this on Twitter with the #ChrisvsTwilight hashtag, but it is still a bit cumbersome to read. Fortunately, someone has taken the trouble to catalog his comments on LiveJournal.
Here is a sample. Though I really recommend following Sims on Twitter.
Here we go. Chris vs. Twilight, Chapter 1. In order to steel myself, I've put on the Pixies as background music.
Before we hit the first chapter--Jeez, there's a preface, too--there's a quote from Genesis.
Had I written this, there Genesis quote would be "I can feel it coming in the air tonight. Oh lord."
So far so good. Preface is pretty interesting, stilted sentences aside. Girl's gonna die or something. Cool.
Chapter 1 opens with girl describing her clothes. THE BIG SLEEP opens with Marlowe describing his socks. COINCIDENCE? (yes)
P.4: "I loved the vigorous, sprawling city." FRANK MILLER'S TWILIGHT.
I gotta say, five pages in and I don't really care for Bella. She's melodramatic and pretty self-important so far.
. . .