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June 29, 2010

The Hary Knowles review of "Eclipse" is a trainwreck of hilarious desperation

Here is the link to the actual review. And here are the nine best lines from the review, as seen on Movieline:
· “If I ever found myself in that tent in a blowing cold mountain top on what could very well have been the last night of my life? And if I were a Teenage Girl…. I’d totally be all about that doggy & diamond double dicking!” · “There wasn’t a girl in my theater tonight that wasn’t wondering if the diamond sprinkled vampire skin would be more like the pyrex dildo or the cyberskin one?” · “And the team Jacob girls [fantasizing about sex] with the German Shepard…. mmhmmm, you know it.” · “[Bella’s father is] kinda freaking out, because he doesn’t know how to act about it, because he looks at Robert Pattinson’s Edward and he can’t imagine the teenage girl in him f**king that.” · “Bella is putting out f**k me pheromones like a bitch in heat - and Jacob’s doggy sensitive nose can not stay out of her crack. He might be ‘talking’ about her ‘heartbeat stopping,’ but what he really wants is that hymen. HE KNOWS IT!” · “Just look at [Jacob’s] pert always hard boy nipples? They’re just so amazingly in focus. They’re just asking to be nuzzled at the very least.” · “This is absolutely better than WOLVERINE was… a bit gayer, but ya know… there’s some cool f**king action, way cuter girls… well, way cuter guys too, if that like makes you questionable curious or not, might be up to your on threshold for thinking about wonder what it’d be like…” · “I can go home, tell my wife I’d totally do ‘______’ with you… And I’ll get laid tonight. Seriously, that’s the kind of f**king date you have tonight.” · “The future of your dick is on the line here. GO and it will be yours.”

June 24, 2010

So what is Treme really about?

Overthinking Treme | I Feel Like Funkin' It Up | Overthinking It The lads at Overthinking It nail this one. Below is a brief sample.
Of course, as we know by now, that’s hardly what The Wire was about. S1 of The Wire ends with Avon Barksdale being sentenced to six years while his nephew, a low-ranking dealer, gets twenty. S2 ends with Frank Sobotka, the target of an unwarranted investigation by a police major with a grudge, being brutally murdered by Balkan drug importers who get off without incident. And so forth. You think you’re getting a police procedural. You’re actually getting a gun-barrel look into how institutions grind people into dust. We’re in a similar spot with Generation Kill. Generation Kill follows the 1st Recon during the early days of America’s invasion of Iraq in 2003. So the series starts with the men on the outskirts of the country and ends with them occupying Baghdad. Easy arc to follow. Except, by the time the series has ended, we realize the situation in Baghdad is still a clusterfuck (to use the accepted Marine Corps term) of epic proportions. There is no resolution, either happy or tragic. And our heroes don’t get the fate we feel they deserve. This should tell us something. When we’re watching a Simon/Overmyer joint, the arc is never obvious. . . . In Treme, there are no obvious teams. The teams are easy to identify on The Wire and Generation Kill because they literally wear uniforms. They are teams which society recognizes. They are institutions in themselves. We can plug them into existing frameworks – Cops vs. Crooks, Enlisted vs. Officers – and let genre tropes do the heavy lifting. But for Treme we have to back up a step. Treme is about Art vs. The World.

June 23, 2010

Cronenberg to direct Lethem's "As She Climbed Across The Table"

"As She Climbed . . . " was the first Lethem book I ever read. It's part love triangle, part horror, and part scathing-satire-of-academia. David Cronenberg to direct Lethem's As She Climbed Across the Table | Film | guardian.co.uk
In recent years, he's successfully moved into more mainstream, if indubitably classy, fare but David Cronenberg's latest project looks like a return to the peculiar world of The Fly or Crash. The Canadian filmmaker is planning a big-screen adaptation of Jonathan Lethem's 1997 novel As She Climbed Across the Table, the tale of a man who loses the love of his life to a shapeless void. According to the Pajiba blog, Cronenberg is attached to direct, though there are as yet no casting details. Lethem's novel features two main characters: Philip, a man who is obsessed with a woman, and Alice (the woman), a physicist who is obsessed with a hole, or doorway to nothingness, which she has created in the laboratory where they both work. According to the website, the film is aiming for an Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind feel. Lethem's other novels include The Fortress of Solitude and Motherless Brooklyn, which won the National Book Critics Circle award. Cronenberg himself is currently working on the drama A Dangerous Method, about the friendship and rivalry between Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung.