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July 08, 2011

Understanding Kevin Smith thru "Chasing Amy"

This is a wonderfully mean (or accurate?) take down of Smith, from his aww-shucks-I'm-just-a-stoner-making-fun-films-that-don't-mean-nothing defensive persona, to his over-reliance on prudish attitudes towards to sex. Et tu, Mr. Destructo?: Criterion Recollection: Silent Bob Strikes Out
It would be hard to count the number of times Kevin Smith has justified his filmmaking by explaining in his Comic Book Guy voice that he just makes "dick-and-fart joke movies" and that taking them seriously misses the point. If only this were true. The problem with Smith's filmmaking, evident in Chasing Amy, is that he actually does think his movies are more than dick and fart jokes; he makes a point of forcing his juvenile ideas of morality, social commentary and intelligent dialogue into his already jumbled and mismanaged work. That he also utilizes an excessive amount of dick-and-fart filler to offset the pretentious emptiness of his dialogue and plot proves only that he has the faintest glimmer of awareness that his movies suck and, as such, need sufficient cushion to repel critical barbs. . . . We're supposed to believe that, although Ben Affleck is totally cool with dating an ex-lesbian who casually mentions fisting on a park swing, he can't repress his puerile, hockey-fueled rage at her having engaged in a threesome in high school. This staged shock at what is supposedly a torrid sexual history should remind viewers of the equally inexplicable scene in Clerks where Dante freaks out because his girlfriend who can't act has sucked a ton of dicks. Instead of coming across as edgy, groundbreaking, daring or whatever other stupid adjectives have been misapplied to these farces, these scenes only reveal that Smith's obsession over sexual perversion comes from a place of deprivation, not experience. . . . When Smith writes long soliloquies, he doesn’t do so from an attempt to ironically portray how Holden conceives relationships with juvenile sentimentality, but because he lacks the ability to give you insight into each character without having them wrenchingly declare themselves and their universe to you. A better writer gives you the details and lets you discover a human being from them, but here, each word is very important, and each one has meaning, because this is communication through vivisection. You open up the animal, and every working part matters. . . .
*via Lawyers, Guns and Money*

June 29, 2011

The best scenes from GREEN LANTERN

Lets us get one thing straight: this movie is balls stupid. Straight up crap. No structure. Unlikable protagonist who really doesn't do anything at all except be a douche for 99% of the film. Antagonists who are way, way more likable than the ostensible hero. It does every single thing wrong. Well, the CGI wasn't bad. Topless Robot breaks down the best scenes by retelling them with 200% more snark. This is good. Topless Robot Presents: The Best Scenes from the Green Lantern Movie - Topless Robot
Parallax: HEY, HECTOR. Hector Hammond: Hey, Parallax. Parallax: I AM GOING TO OA TO EAT EVERYBODY. WHAT ARE YOU UP TO? Hector Hammond: Well, you made me evil, so I'm going to fuck around with Hal Jordan and Blake Lively because of some tenuous connection in our past that the movie only alluded to like five minutes ago, Parallax: OKAY, COOL. HEY, HAL JORDAN WEARS THE RING OF THE DUDE WHO IMPRISONED ME, RIGHT? I THINK I'LL COME TO EARTH, EAT HIM AND ALL OF HUMANITY, AND THEN I'LL BE POWERFUL ENOUGH TO GO TO OA AND DEFEAT THE GUARDIANS AND ALL THE GREEN LANTERNS! Hector Hammond: ... Parallax: WHAT. Hector Hammond: ...doesn't that mean you aren't powerful enough to defeat the Guardians and Green Lanterns right now? Parallax: WELL, YES. Hector Hammond: So... why were you going to Oa? (pause) Parallax: OH SHIT! I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN! I WAS ABOUT TO GET MY ASS KICKED! Hector Hammond: Yeah, you were! Parallax: I'M SO GLAD I CALLED!

June 22, 2011

Did studio meddling ruin Green Lantern?

If this account is to be believed, then yes. Yes they did. Mightygodking.com -- Now this is interesting
One thing I feel needs mentioning: this is not Martin Campbell’s cut of the film, but the studio’s. I live in New Orleans where it was shot, I read the shooting script, all of which was painstakingly filmed with intense research, and all of that was left on the cutting room floor — a sort of combination of what happened to Daredevil and Watchmen, respectively — character development sacrificed for CG, scenes made irrelevant by removing their setup. The movie in the theater starts with an explanation of mythos that is made redundant by the more natural, scripted questions from Hal when he gets the ring. Ten minutes of childhood Hal, Carol, and Hector that sets up Hal’s first ring construct is reduced to an awkwardly placed flashback in the middle of another scene. The training with the ring is almost completely excised except for one minor scene. Most appallingly, the ending completely deletes the fact that Kilowog, Sinestro, and Toma-Re arrive at the end and help Hal defeat Parallax. Not to mention Parallax was supposed to be a 3rd act reveal after we spend the film worried about Hammond going evil, not the main villain for the entire film. I sincerely hope we get a director’s cut or at least all the deleted scenes on the video release.