Poor Mojo's Newswire

Not a nickel or penny for that matter. Nothing. Ever again. I was absolutely incensed by Whole Foods CEO John Mackey’s editorial against universal health care that appeared in Thursday’s Wall Street Journal. In a classic example of a smug, rich guy doing the “I got mine, buddy, go get your own” routine, Ayn Rand-loving, Internet-trolling asshat Mackey actually has the nerve to suggest that instead of universal health care, people simply eat organic food bought at Whole Foods. You know, an apple a day keeps the doctor away. As yesterday’s TPM headline read “Who Needs Healthcare? We’ve Got Whole Foods!” Is this a joke? A ridiculous misguided publicity stunt where we still haven’t heard the punch line? Fodder for a future South Park episode? Not to get all Al Goldstein on you Mackey, but FUCK YOU. And to the WSJ editorial editors, for shame that you let something this blatantly RIDICULOUS appear on the pages of a supposedly respectable newspaper. It’s an embarrassment, like giving Marie Antoinette (or Betty Crocker) editorial space to declare “Let them eat cake” and then argue the point! What a creep! But that’s not to say that something good might not come of this mortifying episode. Like a boycott of the most over-priced supermarket chain in history!

A woman whose home was burglarized as she stayed with her daughter was shocked to spot her belongings offered at a neighbor's yard sale, Anne Arundel County police say. The woman recognized an array of her items - including Christmas decorations, Beanie Babies, an Oriental rug and a dresser - being sold by a man who was wearing one of her T-shirts, charging documents say. Police said they found $25,000 worth of her clothes, furnishings and other possessions - even a fur coat - on the property. The victim, who has been living with her daughter for several months while her home is in foreclosure, discovered Thursday that her house had been burglarized. On Saturday, she and her daughter were on the way to the house in the 800 block of Reece Road in Severn to inventory the missing items before calling police. When they spotted the yard sale nearby, they "were shocked to realize that every item" came from the victim's house, according to charging documents.

Tim Hortons. The Dunkin Donuts of Canada. You know, Canada — where same-sex marriage has been legal nationwide since 2005 (and since 2003 in Tim’s home, Ontario). What in the world are they doing sponsoring something like this? Their site says that they support “local initiatives that make a difference” — such as little leagues, Halloween safety, and the like. And that they sponsor community initiatives with a focus on “helping children and supporting fundraising events for non-profit organizations and registered charities.” But not “those representing religious groups [or] political affiliates,” such as.. well, how would you characterize a group like NOM? As you may recall, some years ago, Tim Horton’s got a once-ever chance to win over Rhode Island when Bess Eaton sold out to Wendy’s, who was then partnered with Tim’s and basically handed the stores over to them. Tim’s managed to blow it though a combination of uncompetitive selection and pricing, inconsistent service, and, worst, failure to produce a decent iced coffee — or indeed, any iced coffee at all — until long after most people had given up on them.

TEL AVIV (Reuters) - A gunman sprayed automatic fire at an Israeli club for gay teenagers on Saturday, killing two people and wounding at least eight, police and witnesses said. The shooting spree in central Tel Aviv set off a citywide security clampdown, reviving memories of Palestinian attacks that have ebbed in recent years. But a police spokesman said that the incident was "criminal, rather than nationalistic." Citing witnesses, Israeli television said a black-clad, masked gunman stormed into the Tel Aviv Gay and Lesbian Association building and opened fire in a basement room where teenage homosexuals were holding a weekly support group. Most of the casualties were minors, the police spokesman said, adding that the assailant was believed to have used an automatic weapon such as an M-16 rifle.