Why Doesn't Anyone Love Me?
(Taking a moment to add a couple of our most popular Rants to the Greatest Hits rolls.)
First of all, before we get any deeper into this painful subject, I'd just like to make one thing perfectly clear: this is not a cry for help. Rather, it is a rational, clear-headed observation of my current relationship situation.
What the hell is wrong with me? Why doesn't anyone love me? I can't figure it out. I am, by my own account, a complete gentleman, a fine lover, and an ideal mate. Why are these plain truths lost on the female population?
Let's examine the facts in the case. . . .
(UPDATE: Since this Rant was first published in 2000, Mr. Michael has found the love of his life and married her. Mazel tov!)