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Ask the Giant Squid: I Have of Late, and Wherefore I Know Not, Lost All My Melodies

Mr Squid:

I used to turn on the radio and hear good music coming out of it. I recall many years of goodness pouring forth from this radio and the one in my car. Fast forward to 2007 where I seem to have painted myself into a corner and only NPR is on and worth listening to.

I've been wondering for a long time now, what happened to the good music?

Sitting in Silence,

(Loving Readers: This request-for-comments shall remain atop this page for several days, with newer News appearing below. Please scroll down to read more, or click through to aid us in aiding Malone in finding the tunes and tones pleasurable.)

Mister Malone,

Sadly, I cannot speak to whence the good music has gone. Although there are many contributing, stultifying factors in this realm of expression, I cannot allay my suspicions that, at the very root of this problem, lies the Rev. Clear and his Church of Channels. Like and unto many cultish faiths -- such as, exempli gratis, the Scientology, the "Theory" of Evolution, and Christ's Amity -- the Church of Channels' purposes and methods are cloudy, while its effects remain searingly clear: The smothering of both the American Intellect and Artistic Sensibility beneath the very blandest, most puerile and profitable pablum that might be made available. Should the populi general ever be roused from their dreamless stupor and shown the way to the Gilded Gates of the Reverend's desecrant Church, I doubt not that they shall, en force and en masse, shatter those chains, and storm bodily upon his strange and noisome alter, where they might then forcibly sodomize both his Meretricious "Art" and the very notion of Media Consolidation which it serves. Recordings of this shall then be remixéd and mashéd up ad infinitum, ad astra, and then ad nauseam. Amen.

But that is all much a matter to the side. I desire most to spread the loves, not the hates. As such, I invite -- no, rather I insist -- that all faithful Mojoketeers and Mojonauts join me in the Newswire, where we might exchange and publicize where we find the good music broadcast, and how Malone might do likewise.

I give my triple-heartfelt thanks-in-advance for your assistance,

And I Remain,
Your Giant Squid


Fuck commercial radio, may it die. I cannot listen to one more mortgage broker pitch, penis-extension quack ad or -- if you listen to Internet versions of real radio -- the same five fucking public service announcements over and over and over and over again (since the commercial talent union pointed out that they have to get paid residuals for the Web).

Alan's multi-part plan for seeking teh good music:

1. Public library plus iTunes: They haven't copy protected most new releases yet, making building a decent library a cinch. And there's thousands of CDs to borrow right there. (And with a little effort, you could run a CD player into your sound card and dub what you want with Audacity.)

2. Live music at a club: Get off your ass and pay some musicians to play music for you. You will be improved and your community will have working musicians, always a good thing.

3. College radio: If your local station hasn't been eaten by NPR yet, you can hear all sort of stuff that's new to you, without commercial interruption.

4. YouTube: The magic jukebox. Got a bug up my ass to listen to Devo one night, and found nearly an hour of videos to watch, including live stuff from the dawn of time that NO ONE would have been able to see in the pre-DVD/interwebs days. When someone tells me about a song I should hear, YouTube is the first stop.

5. Trolling evil, unmoderated message boards: Where people will admit to all sorts of tunecrime posting anonymously, or proudly to show how fucked-up and alteeny they are. Got turned onto lots of listenable stuff in the Web's cesspools (which I will refrain from linking to from here.)

Good luck!


Have you thought about exploring mood-altering drugs? Your local pharmacists and teenagers have access to all manner of chemical compounds that make flourescent-fixture hum, "ambient" techno, construction noise, barking dogs, your own heartbeat, etc., into an exciting, musical melange. Take two and call me in the morning. I sleep soundly, so be sure to call really LOUD.