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Dick Cheney's Enormous Penis sickens, frightens the masses

Hell of a band name, though.

Kimbaland | This picture makes me feel icky

I thought about not posting it, because, you know, it's RUDE and inappropriate, right? But since Hillary Clinton's breasts were such big news over at the Washington Post yesterday, I thought, what the hell?

You'd think the ice cream man he's speaking with might give him a head's up (no pun intended) since he must notice.

I apologize in advance for any feelings of nausea I may have caused any of you.


-- Photo via Poor Mojo Newswire

Orange Tangerine | Crotch shots of the candidates
Every time a male candidate is seen without a jacket, let us call on the media to take pictures from the rear. The electorate cannot make an informed decision without scrutinizing the asses of all the candidates and parsing the inner meaning of the fit of their pants. Does it look like he's lost a little weight? Or gained? Has he been working out? Are his buttocks probably flabby? What sort of gluteal confidence does he present?

Let's not forget where the focus really belongs, however: The media must scrutinize the candidates' frontal presentations, too. Is there a hint of firm pectoral muscles, or of man-boobs, or of age-related sagging? And how about his crotch--is there a hint of penis? How big? Which side is it resting on? Do his balls hang low, do they wobble to and fro?

Really, the only male politician we've had these discussions about is Dick Cheney (see intriguing photo here).

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