Ask the Giant Squid: Finally I Am Approached for Intelligent Debate on the Issues of the Day
You liberals are the most pathetically intellectually-challenged form of human waste on the planet. The shit you write is proof of that. Does it just suck to be you?
Anonymous Internet Petitioner at Internet Protocol Address 206.124.10.147
My Dearest Anonymous Petitioner,
No, it does not suck to be me, although it likely pales in comparison to the solitary joys of one-handedly lobbing adverb-choked ad architeuthic attacks at well-meaning -- and largely apolitical -- almanackeurs like myself while masturbating upon pictures of your transgendered brother (yes, I too have stumbled upon your webcam, Mr. 206.124.10.147. You indeed offer "one helluva show.")
I Remain,
Your Giant Squid
[Editor's Notes: You may need to go here and click the "I'm 18" button before the above link will work properly.]