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Ask the Giant Squid: Gambling Upon Gamboling

Will I win big if I go to Mike's place today?

unsigned

Anonymous Winner,

On this SunnyDay of the Restful Lords, there can be naught but big winners all, provided you recall well the three rules of gambling true: in Cock Fights, wager upon him with the highest comb; in Dog Fights, lay dollar down upon him of the lowest growl; and in Drag Races, always bet upon shim with the highest heels.

I Remain Yours,
the Giant Squid