Verdict: If you want to feel like you got punched in the head and have no active drug connections, see this film.
Click through for the spoily bits.
Plot coherence: 7/10 -- I only lost the thread once, when we were asked to identify and care about the dirty cops. Since Gordon appeared to be the only cop with half a clue on a force of what seemed like 125,000, I'm not sure why we needed any of them.
The funny: 5/10, decent marks for a film with such a deadpan take on the subject matter. The Joker owned most of it, but the tractor-trailer flipping upside-down in the middle of Wacker Drive was LOL win. And despite oneself, one can't help but love that hacky ol' Michael Caine and his improbable Cockney accent.
My willingness to endure the "moment of shit
" after being punched in the head for 150 minutes: 2/10. Yeah, Gary Oldman's voice makes you want to cum. Me, too! But dude, we need to wrap up that voiceover, I gotta be at work at like 8 a.m.
That blowed up real good score: 11/10. In terms of destroying downtown Chicago, it made The Blues Brothers
look like a 1901 Les frères Lumière
short subject about workers leaving a factory. And the gratuitous chopper shot of the hospital imploding? Mmmmmm-wha! Delicious!
Clear your goddamn throat: Director Christopher Nolan needed to have Oldman, Heath Ledger, Christian Bale and Aaron Eckhart draw straws to determine who would get to be Mr. Gravelly, The Man Who Grunts. Because we can't all
have gravelly voices, can we?
Icky Girl Dept.: Do I want to make love to Maggie Gyllenhaal? You bet! Would I want to make love to her in this movie? Not really! That's a problem. Was there a costume designer on this film? That said, she fooled around on Harvey with Bruce and vice versa
and thus, the whore had to be burned to death. Ah, comic books -- you never let me down.
The United Colors of Organized Crime: I guess affirmative action hasn't been struck down in whatever state Gotham City is in, because for a bunch of unscrupulous criminals, the various mobs take great care to promote inclusion, though the Innuit gang might have been a step too far.
Probability we give a shit that the real Chinese Air Force would have incinerated the sky-hook prop-plane before it got to the Hong Kong shoreline: None.
Just this once, and then no more fascism, dammit: Morgan Freeman's Lucius Fox will put his foot down about Batman violating the entire city's privacy with his home version of the Total Information Awareness game just as soon as we've proved the ends justify the means. Huh? Which brings us to...
... Batman getting to do whatever the hell he wants because he's not a hero. Look, I know Bob Kane scribbled the Bat idea on the back of a bar napkin and then had Bill Finger hack it out all in color for a dime with no promise that the character would forever be a saint. But The Dark Knight
leaves us with a disturbing message:
"No matter how much we try to be good, the forces of gleeful, random evil compel
us to do wrong in order to prevent our destruction. Henceforth, Batman will be the ungovernable agent of that compulsion, operating not only as a vigilante, but the tainted counterpart of evil."
That can't lead anywhere good, and real-life examples of power abused are blindingly obvious. Makes it hard for me to enjoy this film.