"Someone get this fat fuck a carrot"
This bastard tells it like it is, and I like that.
Hey Prairie dog, I didn't realize donuts were native to the grasslands of North America! You're so fat, you make a capybara look like an African pygmy mouse!
Seriously, though, Prairie dog. You are really fat. This makes it very difficult for me, because the fact that your feet aren't touching the ground and your arms are kind of hanging down on your fat folds is fucking cute as shit. Am I supposed to feel bad for you? Is this what you wanted, Prairie dog? Damn you and your scheming ways.
(I believe this is the first item I've ever seen that properly belongs in all three Poor Mojo Blogs: The Newswire, CuteLove 100%, and the 2 Minute Hate.)