It's pretty easy: take her to the mall. If she sprays fire low, to cripple without killing and thus sap the resources of the Sorority girls, she's a keeper. If she shoots high--probably saying they're "warning shots" but the next one is definitely gonna part someone's perfect little bangs--or comments favorably on anything in the Hollister store, smile politely, explain you are going to the bathroom and never return. A new life can be found South of the Border.
The first time I took my wife to the mall she threw a midget at a blonde girl carrying a Psych textbook and talking really loudly on a cellphone. The midget hit the girl so hard that her cellphone cut her scalp really badly, and she had to call her friend back later.
Comments
Dave:
This piece was truly good. I have no complaints. I laughed and I enjoyed it.
I am trying to invest all of the above with literal meaning.
-Fritz
Posted by: Fritz | October 19, 2006 11:42 AM
Hugs,
Ease up, man. You're getting so good at this, we all look bad by comparison.
You're right about marrying the right one.
I need a tutorial on how all this is done.
-A-
Posted by: Alan | October 19, 2006 12:46 PM
It's pretty easy: take her to the mall. If she sprays fire low, to cripple without killing and thus sap the resources of the Sorority girls, she's a keeper. If she shoots high--probably saying they're "warning shots" but the next one is definitely gonna part someone's perfect little bangs--or comments favorably on anything in the Hollister store, smile politely, explain you are going to the bathroom and never return. A new life can be found South of the Border.
The first time I took my wife to the mall she threw a midget at a blonde girl carrying a Psych textbook and talking really loudly on a cellphone. The midget hit the girl so hard that her cellphone cut her scalp really badly, and she had to call her friend back later.
Best,
Hugs . . .
Posted by: Hugs | October 19, 2006 01:40 PM