Reasons I Hate Geek Culture And Am Not A Geek
Zenarchery | Reasons I Hate Geek Culture And Am Not A Geek
- Fuck Star Trek.
- Fuck anime, except Miyazaki.
- Open Source = eight million assholes ignoring user requests to design a decent goddamn UI. Also, Richard Stallman is an annoying asshole.
- GIMP is not a substitute for Photoshop, unless you’re drawing pictures of Tux the goddamn penguin.
- I haven’t been a regular video gamer since I discovered pussy, guitars and psychedelic drugs.
- I’ve actually discovered pussy, guitars and psychedelic drugs.
- Do you really think dressing like Neo and going to LAN parties is cool? Really?
- The next time somebody drops an Emacs joke, I’m kicking your fucking dork ass.
- Trance music? Yeah, for scoring raver pussy. Why don’t you try listening to something that takes more than three minutes to make?
- I don’t need every life activity translated into a humorous “for geeks” manual.
- Writing sci fi stories about doing subversive shit is not as cool as actually going out and doing subversive shit.
- On the other hand, you don’t need a gun, there, Doc Hypertext, because nobody’s gonna start a war at your fucking LAN party. Geeks bearing guns is about as pointless as Mormon missionaries bearing coke spoons. You are not dangerous and you live a sedentary lifestyle, you disgusting little poseur piece of shit.
- Also, the reason you’re a cyberlibertarian is because you’re from the American middle class. Everyone else hates you. All black people hate you. I hate you. You’re not a cowboy or a pirate. You’re a pampered little cunt, and your little stash of legally-obtained rifles isn’t going to save you when the poor rise up against you.
- Screen names are for people too chickenshit to use their real names. Welcome to my contempt.
- Blogs are not a revolution. Blogs are a content management system. Blogs have never caused a real political upheaval. Blogs just make sure that every asshole in the world feels like they’re important. (I’m not excluded from this.)
- Wikipedia is not an encyclopedia. Shut up.
- Information doesn’t want to be free. Information doesn’t want anything. It’s not even a good metaphor. Stop stealing music and claiming the high moral ground. You’re a piece of shit and Lars Ulrich is going to come and fuck your eyes out.
- Second Life? Maybe when you’ve got a first life.
- Mash-ups are not as cool as actually being creative. Dick.
- Nothing on YouTube is as cool as a Terry Gilliam movie.
- Video blogging? So now I have to look at your ugly ass?
- No, I don’t care what you’re currently listening to while you LiveJournal. Whatever it is, it usually sucks.
- I don’t give a fuck what Shinjuku teenagers think is cool. You know what’s cool? Not buying dogshit-shaped keychains out of vending machines and being part of an incredibly racist and xenophobic culture. That’s pretty cool.
- XML cannot solve every problem in the world.
- No, Warren Ellis isn’t kidding about hating you. Trust me.
- Poetry generated by PERL scripts is not as good as, say, Federico Garcia Lorca, or even Rod fucking McKuen.
- I got beat up in high school for totally different reasons than you did.