Poor Mojo's Two Minute Hate

right now all I want to talk about is why I hate my vagina. First, because it played a key role, the bitch, in my developing a bladder and probable kidney infection last week. Second, because in treating said infection(s) (with expired penicillin purloined from my boyfriend's medicine cabinet--yes, not only do I cheat on my husband, I take other people's expired prescription medicine! I'm a rebel, baby!)--said penicillin has, natch, led to the joy and fabulousness of a yeast infection (to which I'm more prone than bladder infections, usually--go figure).

Of course, since the only proper correction to vagina-hating is a heavy dose of hippyism ("love your yoni!"), I shall treat my assorted coochie skankiness with hippy remedies like cranberry juice, yogurt, and acidophilous milk. Orally ingested, thankyouverymuch.