Poor Mojo's Two Minute Hate

You are probably all aware of the ever popular website MySpace.com, where teenagers, adults, and everyone inbetween goes to engage in incredible ego trips and incessant forays of commenting and message sending. It's popular for the same reason AIM and Apple are popular (even though neither is original): it's trendy, computer-illiterate people can manage to make it "go", and consequently 'everyone else is using it'. The resulting chances of you being able to recreate your tangible social network in this ad-infested chaos are high, and soon you become fond of the feeling when you get a message saying someone has commented on your profile. You know that you'll think of an appropriate comment to put on their profile in a few days too, and it will continue this way until you break the internet. Or, as the case may be, you break MySpace.

"Tom" (the MySpace handle of the creator) received at birth in place of his stylistic intuition, a seemingly luck laiden ability to generate (poorly) the exact kind of things that our insecure society thrives on. The most noteworthy thing is this: the ads. They're everywhere, absolutely EVERYWHERE. There's one at the top of every page, one on the right when you're checking your messages, and eight others placed strategically beside every other feature, on every other page. If I didn't run Firefox, the problem would probably be exacerbated by the absurd amount of popup windows that would be appearing on my screen. This alone makes the entire experience ridiculous, but it goes on....

...when you sign up for MySpace, you instantly have your first friend. You're immediately best buddies with the most popular person on MySpace: Tom. Now, to understand the stupidity of this, you have to understand that this is a social networking mechanism; if I'm friends with John and John is friends with Sally, then Sally is syllogistically my friend, and if I visit her profile it will tell me just that: "Sally is in your extended network". But if EVERYONE is friends with Tom, then there might as well not be an extended network feature at all, and he is defeating the purpose of his time and his website. Basically what I'm saying is, Tom is a dumbshit.