Poor Mojo's Two Minute Hate

*sigh* I want to die. I hurt everybody around me with my fucking character. My parents are killing me. They act like I am just an assistant for housekeeping and stuff like that. She knows nothing about me. Neither that I am a lesbian, nor that I am depressive!

But who cares. I will die and nobody shall cry. I don't deserve it. I am cruel. I am a liar. I hate me. And I just care about me, which makes me a horrible person, too.

Fuck you!

I'd hate to live in a Universe populated by the people who have populated this planet. Sure, we've developed Open Source software and milk that doesn't need refrigeration, but there's also the troubling propensity to Ethnic Cleansing....

In other words, God had the right idea with The Flood, and delivering Noah to another planet may not turn out to be such a great idea, again.

Re-reading too much Vonnegut these days (just finished 'Breakfast of Champions' last night). So it goes.

As the holiday season is upon us, I've been thinking of the ultimate "fuck you" gift: the one that keeps on giving anguish and annoyance. The ideal is one that does not insult upon opening, that, in fact, seems like a great gift until living with it for a couple months. Examples:

- For kids: a super-cute plush toy that they love and that incessantly repeats the same phrase (think Barney, "I love you, you love me, we're a happy family"), rendering the parents insane;

- For adults: an organizer that charts their successes and sends daily (hourly?) reminders on progress; the end result is that they feel like a loser.

4. I hate pop boy bands singing Christmas classics just to sell a few more albums, or silly Christmas songs like "Grandma got run over by a Reindeer "or the "barking dogs."

7. I hate the debate about the politically correctness of wishing some one Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, or Seasons Greetings.

11. I hate that there are political factions working at removing "Nativity Scenes from public buildings, and parks.

13. I hate that our military families will be without love ones this Christmas.

Like a money shot from a first time male porn star with exceptionally bad aim.

"What's that? Oh, so let me get this straight...just to make sure I've got it right...you're saying that this wooden plank you've gone and leaned against the wall is meant to to represent the suffering of the Sudanese in Darfur?"

"Yep."

"Fuck you. Bend over drop your pants and spread your ass cheeks because I feel like ramming a bowling ball full of Anthrax up there you fucking jackass."

When I was in High School there was a girl in my art class who painted nothing but couches.

Fucking couches...Sectionals. Leather. Sometimes love seats. When she was feeling really wacky and out there maybe even a recliner.

The fact that that couch girl did seem to have everyone fooled did annoy me a bit though...

What do I do when I'm annoyed?

Well, I set out to put the wrong things right. Like the Crow. Minus being dead, and the kick ass powers, and the cool bird.

So, if Richards is Jewish, two hate rants become one.

But, ah, if Richards is not Jewish, we’ve got two hate rants on our hands Howard!

We’ve got the anti-African American AND the anti-Semitic one! OH BOY!

Here’s what Mr. Rubenstein recently told the associated press:

I love the holiday season because of the time I have with my children and grandchildren. I love being able to cook and bake and make memories. I love the spirit of compassion that runs through our community - the turkey, toy and coat drives, and the stories of "random acts of kindness" that fill the airways.

I hate the holidays though because the paradox of poverty becomes even more glaring during the commercialism of the holiday season. It is also generally the time people are most in need and the money to run programs are exhausted for the year. If you work in serving the most vulnerable, usually you spend the majority of your holiday season scrambling to raise money, find volunteers, and prepare Christmas for hundreds. The stress of it all makes it tough to keep the "holiday spirit"....

Generally, sometime during the holiday season usually around the 20th of December, I have a day where I think - "Forget this, I'm going to work for McDonald's. In fact I'd make more money doing that than this!"

There is a great deal about atheists that does not make sense. Unfortunately, they are starting to get organized and spread their evil creed. While once these were a minority whose absurd comments got very little traction in the mainstream media, we now live in a world where secular thinking threatens to take over America.

Ten years ago if I had suggested to you that America was in the grip of an evil atheist conspiracy you might not have taken me seriously. Today emboldened atheists like “The Uncredible Hallq” (a.k.a. Chris Hallquist) proudly display their involvement with a conspiracy which is undeniably real.

But I can't avoid it without things getting worse, and therefore we go.

Once again I won't post any details, other than I wish this entire thing was already over.

That being said, please wish us luck and if you are so inclined, pray for us.

...some other influential bloggers have been questioning where digg's going an the quality of stories being put out there. The entire "mob rule" is being placed into question, especially in light of how John Chow's blog has been banned from digg submissions.

I really see digg's audience changing from the technology and geek readers and branching out and attracting mainstream readership. I read and hear a lot about professionals in our industry having their stories "dugg" but then the discussions that happen on the threads show the total lack of knowledge of the area the article speaks to. It is not saying that the "diggerz" are dumb or stupid, they really are just lacking the in-depth day in and day out knowledge the technology and search industry professionals have.

As new "diggerz" come into the fold the more it annoys and drives away the early adopters. Not necessarily those who "digg" lots of stories, but more the folks who read the stories. Both Rob Hof and Scoble point out they are opting out of the feeds from digg, as the stories being submitted are no longer of much value to them. This is just how services who have been in the "geek realm" change when they reach the mainstream, an evolution, it changes and morphs once the mainstream populace gets a hold of it.

You are a prick!

There was no weather, no rain, no wind, no slick roads, no houses, and no kids nearby. You were however, well hidden, in the dark, and between some trees. ... You intentionally put us all in danger to collect a $150. ... How do you feel about being minimized to the role of local tax collector - that is essentially what you are when you hide in the bushes and dispense tickets like Halloween candy. Was your life worth 13 miles per hours over the limit? How about the fact that I was a few feet away from only being 3 miles per hour over the limit? Evidently, I place a greater value on my family's life than you do of your own. All of this for $150? Give me a fuckin' break!

Now for the really pissed off part. You scared the shit out of my 2 year old - the one that was balling in the back seat when you approached my window - yeah that one. The one that was screaming, "bright light, bright light, I don't wike it". To top it all off, you wouldn't even turn down your 44349 kazillion watt light that blasted into my truck - even after I asked very politely and kindly as a favor for my daughter.

You are one classy son of a bitch. Fuck You, you life endangering tax collector.

Dennis Rogers, a columnist for the News & Observer... stated that the U.S. military was responsible for his college diploma. Rogers reinforced what a retired colonel once told me, “The military is the best social welfare program ever created.” The military provides low-income blacks and whites a ticket to higher education and the upper-middle class.

What these protestors fail to realize is that the disproportionate ratio of low-income enlistees stem from the failure of liberal social policy. The public schools and welfare programs have failed to provide for those in poverty and those with limited access to social mobility. The military always has and always will provide young men and women who would otherwise make no progress on the social ladder a chance to do so.

Meanwhile, we have white, liberal trust-fund babies screaming at military recruiters while still claiming support for the troops. I defy anyone to find a protestor who does not believe every word John Kerry said when testifying before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee in 1971. “We think they’re a bunch of racist, mutilating rapists, but we support the troops.” Bull.

"I feel that it's really pathetic and disgusting that a corporation is spineless and money hungry enough to reduce lives to the state these animals live in. To force living creatures to endure hellish conditions and abuse so you can make money off their dead bodies is really perverse and disgusting."

He also adds: "My message for the people calling the shots at KFC is simple: You're all soulless monsters who deserve to be tortured yourselves, and you should feel completely ashamed".

One night, he let the audience have it. “Hitler had the right idea; he was just an underachiever,” Hicks screamed at the top of his voice. “Kill ’em all, Adolf! Mexican. American. Jew. All of them! Rain 40 days and 40 nights. Wash these turds off this fucking planet!”

"One-legged bitch! How dare you do this to Paul! Die ugly dog!"...

"His kids were right about you. You will never be a lady! Linda was a real wife. You are a nobody. Now clear off and disappear!"

DEADMAN #4: This is incomprehensible gobbeldy-gook, but you put the lead in the Bostom Brand costume, and at least a few more people are going to pick it off the rack out of curiousity. Don't think they'll be back for #5, however, as it was AWFUL. Even the art by John Watkiss (who I generally like [and I know I am in the minority]) seemed majorly phoned in.

HELLBLAZER #226: I don't like John as a "real" Magus, with lots of real magic running around. I've generally dilkied this "Empathy" storyline, especially since it doesn't seem like it is ever going to end. And, while in prose you can end a chapter with "What the hell is THAT?!", it doesn't work in COMICS because there's at least a one month gap between installments. Feh. AWFUL.

IRON MAN #13: Instead of a "What the hell is up with Tony" as you'd hope you'd get from the finally-we're-synching-up-with-CIVIL-WAR issue, there's instead a lot of blah blah with Spymaster. SPYMASTER? C'mon, he's not even in the top 20 of Most Threatning IM Villians. Foo. AWFUL.

Q. Are the terrorists trying to influence our election in your view?

THE VICE PRESIDENT: I think they're very much aware of our political calendar here, I really do. . . . So I think they are very conscious of the electoral timetable in the United States.

There’s certainly a stepped up level of violence, and we’re heading into an election.

In the deadliest sectarian attack in Baghdad since the American-led invasion, explosions from five powerful car bombs and a mortar shell tore through crowded intersections and marketplaces in the teeming Shiite district of Sadr City on Thursday afternoon, killing at least 144 people and wounding 206, the police said. . . .The attacks were the worst in an intensifying series of revenge killings in recent months, in a cycle that has increasingly paralyzed the political process and segregated the capital into Sunni and Shiite enclaves, and threatened to drag Iraq into an all-out civil war.

"Tom" (the MySpace handle of the creator) received at birth in place of his stylistic intuition, a seemingly luck laiden ability to generate (poorly) the exact kind of things that our insecure society thrives on. The most noteworthy thing is this: the ads. They're everywhere, absolutely EVERYWHERE. There's one at the top of every page, one on the right when you're checking your messages, and eight others placed strategically beside every other feature, on every other page. If I didn't run Firefox, the problem would probably be exacerbated by the absurd amount of popup windows that would be appearing on my screen. This alone makes the entire experience ridiculous, but it goes on....

...when you sign up for MySpace, you instantly have your first friend. You're immediately best buddies with the most popular person on MySpace: Tom. Now, to understand the stupidity of this, you have to understand that this is a social networking mechanism; if I'm friends with John and John is friends with Sally, then Sally is syllogistically my friend, and if I visit her profile it will tell me just that: "Sally is in your extended network". But if EVERYONE is friends with Tom, then there might as well not be an extended network feature at all, and he is defeating the purpose of his time and his website. Basically what I'm saying is, Tom is a dumbshit.

Richards on Wednesday contacted the Rev. Al Sharpton and offered an apology, which Sharpton did not accept, according to CNN. "I [told Richards] you need to sit down and deal with this," said Sharpton, per the article. "This is not about accepting an apology, this is about starting a process to really deal with the continual problem of racism in this country."...

Mediastar at "Diary of a Mad Black Woman" writes, "I am so unimpressed with his sorry excuse for an apology. I get so sick and damn tired of celebrities and politicians making ugly, racist, ignorant remarks then coming back with a scripted 'I'm sorry.' What exactly are they sorry about? Sorry they have to apologize? Sorry they're ignorant? Sorry they're stupid?"

UK media correspondent Andrew Gumbel, in an entry at "The Huffington Post," had this to say, from a British point of view:

I had to run some errands in the country near Annapolis and while driving I spotted a big-ass turkey standing on someone's front lawn. I stopped to check it out.

When I got out of the car, it seemed docile, so I snapped a few pictures. In turkey religion, this must steal their souls because at that point it flared out its tail feathers and charged me like a pissed off miniature grizzly bear....

Now I feel even better about eating these beasts for Thanksgiving. They are not nice animals.

The dinner is ready, and Uncle Steve is still late.
My gay brother brought his homosexual date.
We all bow our head as Dad says grace.
Our Atheist Sister Denise makes an angry face.

We all sit down to eat our turkey dinner.
Right about then, reverend bob yells Denise is a sinner.
Sis jumps up, and flings her slice of pie.
The dog jumps to catch it and lands on the gay guy.

Grandma steps on the cat, who ran from the dog.
The carpet catches on fire from a fireplace log.
The babies are screaming in their high chairs
The kids are pulling out each others hairs.

Right about then I yell out singing
I can't wait for Christmas, because I hate Thanksgiving.

People who write and think about our intense attraction to the famous often say that when we worship celebrities, we are following a Darwinian urge to revere beauty or preeminence. Paris Hilton attracts our interest much the way Arnold Schwarzenegger does, according to this view: they are alphas, creatures that have made it to the top of the pack, and we can’t help but gaze at them with fascination....

But the evolutionary theory of celebrity does not begin to explain Paris Hilton mania for one reason: people hate the woman. She must be the most powerful snark magnet in history....

Still, to check out the megabytes of commentary that follow Paris’s every embarrassing move is to be struck by a loathing that confutes the Darwinian explanation. Cries of “nonentity,” “rich white trash,” “no-talent,” “brainless hussy,” and “hotel heirhead” echo throughout cyberspace. Politically incorrect slurs like “tramp,” “tart,” “slut,” “skank,” and “skanktron” have suddenly become acceptable again, as long as Paris is their target. But that’s just the everyday bile. Hilton hatred has been muse to striking bouts of creativity from the popular press. In the 1930s, Walter Winchell coined the term “celebutante” to describe Brenda Frazier, a socialite famous enough to make the cover of Life and Paris Hilton’s closest sociological ancestor; well, in the spirit of Winchell, the New York Post’s “Page Six” has anointed Paris “celebutard.” Not to be outdone, the online gossip ’zine Defamer ventured “celebutante vaginalist.”

Most of my complaints have to do with their refusal to integrate their Jungian shadow selves, the clothes and the hair. (Mostly the hair.) Plus, I find some of their ways a little, um, precious. My friend Cos (a hippie if ever there was one) will tell me about someone she knows from the Rainbow Gathering: “So Sister Floating Feather was saying…” and I interrupt. “What’s her real name?” I say rudely.

“Her Rainbow name is Sister Floating Feather,” Cos says, firmly standing her ground.

Loud theatrical sigh. “I mean, what name did her parents give her when she was born?”

“Oh. Jennifer.”

You know another thing I hate? Pu worg reven lliw elpoep emos sseug I. Loohcs hgih ni llits M'i ekil sleef ti tub egelloc ni ydaerla M'l taht etah I. Seriously....

Posted by: laura | November 18, 2006 01:33 PM

Huh. The Onion's editorial cartoon is actually one of my favorite bits in the paper. I always thought they were satirizing conservative editorial cartoonists like Chuck Asay from the Colorado Springs Gazette [representative sample link below, link to gallery at Slate-- bewarned! his work is stomach-turningly conservative -- and sincere].

Inasmuch as The Onion has been on course this year to make itself look more like a real newspaper [online readers miss out on the (kick-ass) event listings, cartoon page, classifieds and sudoku!], the addition of an editoral cartoon isn't out of line, and what other take could they have on it than to come up with an outrageously offensive bit every week? Maybe it was a little more obvious to me because i live in a city where i read The Onion in paper form, but I think their editorial cartoon is just an outsized conservative view, in keeping with other The Onion headlines "Bush Urges Expanded Drilling Of Alaskan Wildlife" or "I Should Not Be Allowed To Say The Following Things About America"

http://images.ucomics.com/comics/crcas/2006/crcas061113.gif

http://cartoonbox.slate.com/chuckasay/

Posted by: travis | November 19, 2006 01:16 PM

interesting point, travis, but i'm going to have to say you're hella wrong. the difference between the conservative things that make it into the headlines on the front page and this comic is that the headlines are funny. to each his own, i know, but based on many conversations i've had about this topic (total radness to you, poormojo, for making me and my friends feel like allstars when we saw you were also debating this), i think you may be in the minority (which is not neccessarily a bad thing, but i would caution you against this status as you may soon end up the butt of an unfunny joke in a usually great paper). i've tried to look at it from a sarcastic point of view, and i am hard pressed to see how these cartoons can function as such. i also am able to read the onion in print form (because milwaukee is awe-some!), and i can not, no matter how hard i try, find the humor in this offensive dither. and i guess that's the part that hurts the most - offensive material can be used to make a person think, and it can be hilariously on point. this, on the other hand, is just painful. i think it's serious, and that makes me sad.

Posted by: Susie | November 22, 2006 12:34 AM

Evangelicals might have struggled to organize any last-minute, formidable efforts in this past election due to consistent problems with their candidates. For example, the racist Sen. George Allen of Virginia couldn't even conjure enough of them to win back his spot, though he was certain to start out one of his speeches on election night with thanking God.

So will there be a repeat in 2008, with the Dems picking up the presidency and dominating the House and Senate? The answer is probably not. As Jesus Camp extraordinaire Becky Fischer said, "this means war," and boy is she right....

If the Democrats are smart enough they will avoid deeply offending the evangelicals. Barack Obama: 2008.

My guess is that Farouk Hosni will be sacked or forced to resign unless his friend, the first lady, weighs in. The NDP, acknowledging the ground it lost to the Muslim Brotherhood, is starting to feel the pulse of the street and understand that Egyptians are now embracing something they didn't know 40 or 50 years ago.

The hair cover has become to Islam what a hymen is to a virgin.

[T]here’s this big bird (bigger than me) sitting in the fridge instead of the oven. I asked Momma what the deal was and she said it was for Thanksgiving and that we would be eating him in 2 days. 2 days! I don’t know 2 days from 2 minutes or 2 years. All I know is that means more WAITING!

And if all of that isn’t bad enough she came home this morning with my Christmas cards to send out, but said I would have to WAIT to get any in the mail from my friends!

I’m headed for a breakdown and fast! Oh, and I forgot the biggest waiting of all…Present Day, which you hoomans call Christmas! I can’t take it I tell you!

Despite rain that Noah would be proud of and Pudsey Bear on TV, over 150 music fans, trade unionists and anti-racist campaigners came out to rock against racism organised with Malifiwho Promotions and Subways.

The British National Party have been spreading their vile racist propoganda in the Maldon recently but a week after rememberance day, young people in the town came together in unity to show that we would rather party together than listen to the neo Nazi BNP.

The Drafts got the crowd warmed up with the lead singer wearing a rather fetching Fuck the BNP t-shirt.... The finale and set of the night was UK hip-hop supplied by Artcha, G-range, Mr. Sounds and Chrome. The indie / metal kids don’t get to see live MCs very often in Maldon - but when they they see top quality beatboxing n freestyling - they love it!

And its all for a good cause - as Dave Smith (an old duffer with no hair) said from the stage: “When I was young Joe Strummer was a hero of mine - not just because he was the lead singer with The Clash - but because he was prepared to stand up and be counted. He was one of the founder members of Rock against Racism and used music to bring people together to campaign against the nazi skinheads and National Front in the 1970s. Today we carry on that tradition with Love Music Hate Racism”

On the latter complaint, give us a collective break, Slate! This is like saying Karaoke Revolution isn't fun because you can "cheat" by not really singing the lyrics, merely keeping the tune. And we all know Karaoke Revolution is fun! Right, guys? Right...? Careless Whisper? Anyone?...

Slate dislikes the Wii's "lousy motion control" so much that they advise you not to buy it. Sell your Nintendo stock now!

Insiders from the Clinton camp winced at Carville's untimely remarks last week calling for Dean's ouster in favor of unsuccessful Senate candidate Harold Ford of Tennessee.

"It was not coming from [Sen. Hillary Clinton] and they made a real effort to distance themselves from James' comments," said a source close to the Clintons.

The Clintonistas don't want an undeserved backlash from the activist wing of the party that overwhelmingly supports Dean, especially because some anti-Clinton Democrats have blamed Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-N.Y.) for the attack by Carville, a longtime Clinton insider. Those forces claimed Carville's motive was to topple Dean in favor of a chairman more favorable to Sen. Clinton's bid for President....

She revealed that Paris Hilton asked the writers to make a skit in which she could play Jessica Simpson "because I hate her…she's fat.” Fey also claims that Paris was so self-centered that staffers had a bet going on as to whether she would ask anyone something personal (like "How are you?") during her week on-set. They only lost when she asked, “Is Maya Rudolph Italian?" (she's half Black, half Jewish)....

HS: What is Paris Hilton like?

TF: She's a piece of sh-t. The people at SNL were like maybe she'll be fun, maybe she won't take herself so seriously. She takes herself so seriously! She's unbelievably dumb and so proud of how dumb she is. She looks like a tranny up close.

“I am absolutely convinced that the main source of hatred in the world is religion,” Hitch told a crowd of receptive undergraduates gathered to hear him explain why freedom of speech should include the freedom to hate.

That is all.

("Scoot the fuck over. Stop leaning on me! Get your feet off me! You're heavy, damnit! God, no wonder my back hurts.")

Add this to the fact that it's getting colder outside, and my lovely house, as you may recall, is hell to heat. The thermostat is set at a toasty 60 degrees, and even with that, I paid ridiculous bills last year. This year, I've promised myself that I will not, not, not pay an $800 heating bill -- even if this means that I run around in long underwear and multiple layers drinking tea and wearing mittens. ...

I had hoped to polish off a dissertation chapter over the break, but I'm not sure that this will be possible. It's looking increasingly like I'll end up working extra shifts at Jobs # 2, 3, and 4 -- just go keep my head above water.

Wilderness is an uninhabited place. There is nothing there, nobody there. Everything is one color. Feeling isolated, maybe forgotten about, we wander, wonder, ask questions, even doubt. We watch a tumbleweed roll by and wish WE had someplace to go. Pretty sad.

But the wilderness comes right before the fulfillment of the promises God makes to his children. There’s only one way to get TO the other side, I guess. And that’s through it. We have to go through the wilderness to get to the other side. I hate that about the wilderness. Couldn’t God just sent a little helicopter out here and airlift us out of this waiting and wondering?

I had the looks, I had the charm and I had my eye on this pretty young thing who was doing an internship for a competing paper.

It took me nearly two months of running into each other at various news events before I worked up the nerve to begin talking to her.

And then Obama shows up....

After about five questions from different television and newspaper reporters, I stood up to ask mine.

“Wait a minute son, this is for professional media only,” Obama said to me.

“What do you mean? I work for the local paper,” I said with a crackling nervous voice.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you were a college student. You have such a baby face,” he said with an unremorseful grin.

Remembered that girl who I was trying to get with, well she was sitting next to me and guess what she was doing?

I'm with Steven R on this one:

...What will it take for James Carville to shut the fuck up and recognize credit where credit is due. Howard Dean's 50 State Strategy has been vindicated by the across the board election victories this cycle. Harold Ford is one of the LONE LOSERS of 11-7. I like the guy, but I don't like where he stands on Issues, and I hate the idea of putting a Loser in place to head the DNC when we finally have a winner. James Carville is a fucking tool idiot of the corporate media and DLC Elites...

Jesus said, that even if we are angry with our brothers, we are liable to judgment. (Matt. 5:22) It would seem that hatred itself is a form of murder, and is anathema to our Savior.

The total goal of the Christian Church is to be able, someday, to harvest the products of good will and love in our world. We may be a long way from that goal, but it must be the focus of every prayer, and the steadfast purpose of every one who has come to know the love and forgiveness of Jesus Christ.

The launch allotment is looking to be more like 150k - 200k instead of the 400k which is down from the original world wide 2,000,000, but there may be as many as 750k systems shipped by the end of the year (yeah right). IGN Link: http://ps3.ign.com/articles/746/746181p1.html

Further more, it has even more problems (then we thought). Here's another IGN link: http://ps3.ign.com/articles/746/746492p2.html
Retail store units are over heating. The system can't scale images (the 360 upscales your old games and can upscale 720p games to 1080i). Etc, etc, etc.

It's not all that with the poetry exercise, but still: I try the exercise. I can't write anything. It feels forced and dumb. I throw my pen in the air and say "I hate poetry exercises." Inevitably though, after failing at the exercise, I'll be wonderfully inclined to write some other poem of my own making.

At least, that's how he plays out on record. On his just-released second album, Doctor's Advocate, he's proudly P.O.M.E. (product of my environment) and pomo, a conscious throwback to the West Coast gangsta rap of the late '80s and early '90s that he loves enough salute with a chest tattoo (his right fist in the picture above obscures much of his "N.W.A." ink). A small part of me wants to stand up and cheer on principle -- I admire someone who goes to pains to preserve the legacy of what they love. ...If I applaud the Game in principle, I find myself practically recoiling in response to so much of what he says. ...

As long as hip-hop, like huge-selling hip-hop (link via Nova), is going to be so backward and not just hateful but matter-of-factly hateful to women, there should be someone pointing it out, screaming and crying bullshit all along the way. In other words: if hip-hop can't get over its hatred of women, why should I have to? So why is no one talking about this?

I get that Hillary is some sort of symbol for bitchy women, but I don’t quite know what she’s actually done to earn that reputation, particularly since her personal life offers a good deal of evidence to the contrary. Can somebody clue me in?

Why? Because, while the OS X software is great, Apple’s hardware is some of the worst I’ve used in the whole 18 years I’ve been using computers. I purchased an iBook that ground to a halt after months of Apple denying it was broken. (Other people have Power Books with AC adapters catching on fire.) On top of that, I ended up blowing an extra $1000 easily on repairs and upgrades just to keep up with Apple’s obnoxious secretive upgrade policies.

7pm update: the flu appears to be a feverish case of mastitis. which disguises itself as the flu. until the breasts turn into - owww - let's not talk about it, shall we?

but see, before you go start pointing fingers in the direction of a certain dank and dark basement apartment in chicago you should probably first take a look at your little circle. do you sit behind your computer all day trolling around, lurking the lives of others waiting for their next social faux pas so you can be the first to run to your communities or message boards and report back and let all of your 'e-friends' know about what that one guitar player from that one awesome band you stood half a mile away from at that concert shoved up his girlfriends ass?

have you ever heard the saying, "theres no such thing as bad publicity?"

probably not.
because for all the shit you hate on, every time the name of that dude or that band falls from your mouth, the person you hate wins. you inadvertently perpetuate what you hate.
wanna know why paris hilton is still famous? because of the haters.
wanna know why kevin federline is still famous? because of the haters.
we all know that there is more talent on the opening slot for the taste of chaos tour, so why do they still command huge paychecks and make tv appearances?
because of the haters. haters keep this shit alive.

Fast forward a few days.

I go online today to check my bank account to find out what checks have cleared and which ones haven't and I discover that my bank charged me $19 in denied access fees for my attempts to access my bank account last week at the ATM! I didn't even get access to my account and the machine didn't even provide me with a receipt to document the transactions.

I'm pissed. First of all, what bank charges you a fee when you can't even access your account? Second of all, the checks I wrote were for just about all the money I had in the account and with this $19 being held up by the bank I will surely bounce a check thus ensuring my bank will charge me even more fees.

The truth is, the law is, cyclists have the same rights as cars on the road. If they drift into your lane, it's up to you to avoid them. If they run a stop sign or red light, they can get a ticket. If they run afoul of a car, though, a different set of laws comes into play - Newton's Laws. And when it's car versus bicycle, the object acted upon most violently is the bicyclist.

I'm not advocating the vehicular mayhem on PCH, just reporting it. I see it every day. So if you're driving a car, share the road. And if you're riding a bike, share the road. And if you're the guy who hit-and-run my bicyclist neighbor John last year, left him on the pavement, put him into the ICU for weeks, left him unsure if he'll ever work again, please know another set of laws applies. Karma, baby. It's real and it's gonna get you.

I wish she’d disappear. Her latest “song” is ‘London Bridge’. I hear it four or five times a day on the radio in my office. It drives me crazy. Let’s have a look at some of her inspiring lyrics:

“For the past eight years, the Anti-Defamation League of B’nai B’rith has tried unsuccessfully to pass its Orwellian federal ‘anti-hate’ bill. It has failed largely for one reason: Republican control of Congress,” writes Pike. ... ADL’s federal thought crimes bill, ‘The Local Law Enforcement Enhancement Act,’ will be reintroduced soon after January 1. Since no Democrat in Congress has ever voted against the hate bill, it will pass.”

According to Rabbi David Saperstein of the Interfaith Alliance Foundation, Americans “cannot stand idly by while our brothers and sisters, parents and children, live in fear that racism, bigotry, homophobia, misogyny, and xenophobia continue to go unchecked....

According to Saperstein, hate crimes are not restricted to violence. Hate crimes “are more than murders, beatings, and assaults.... They seek to tear us apart from within, pitting American against American, fomenting violence and civil discord.”

If we buy into this line of reasoning, the First Amendment of the Constitution not only allows but encourages hatred and violence....

My university's Information Technology (IT) department.

Latest transactions: 03 November PKRSER.COM 500.00 U.S. DOLLAR £271.02

ARSE. So not only do I already hate online poker, but now some clown has cloned (or similar) my credit card to spend their scummy time there. You know, I was delighted to see the online poker (etc etc) companies shrink like pricked balloons (somehow it was apposite) with the US legislation banning it, but now I just want them to vanish altogether. They’re a waste of time, of money, and they just encourage this kind of crap.

Because when you ring up the credit card company, they’re completely understanding. Oh dear, how’s that happened, do you use the internet?, of course this won’t be charged to you, hmm.

So said one of a group of nine gay Palestinian-Americans who had travelled to Jerusalem to attend World Pride. They didn't get to march in the end.

The San Francisco Chronicle reports that they were driven from their hostel by knife-wielding thugs, one of whom said they were from the Waqf Muslim religious authority.

Later, when one of their group returned to the hostel to retrieve their posessions, he was ambushed. The attackers asked if he was with 'the homos' and then started beating him. The man who said he was from the Wagf beat him unconscious.

Last year, three men were injured when they were attached by a knife-wielding orthadox Jew.

Street demonstrations will definitely greet Bush's visit. The protests, especially if they are peaceful, will send a strong and effective message to the leader of the world's most powerful nation that even the most moderate Muslims are angry with the impact of his war on terrorism.

Because of his own track record, millions of Muslims across the globe perceive the president as anti-Islam, whether he likes it or not, whether it's true or not. Millions of others want him out of the White House, including American voters, as we've seen.

Yesterday morning I was going to pick something up from a friend, and as I was getting on the freeway,(seemingly) out of nowhere, I felt like I had needles and pins sticking in me all over, I broke out in a sweat, I couldn't catch my breath, I couldn't swallow, and I started shaking all over. I started to look for the next exit to get off the freeway and turn around and go home. In the meantime, I was having this entire philosophical debate that went something like this:

Me: Don't turn around. You know this can't kill you--you just feel like it will kill you.
The Panic Monster: Turn around. I won't stop until you feel safe at home.
Me: I need to go skydiving and let all these feelings happen and prove they can't hurt me no matter what I do.
The Panic Monster: You let yourself get vulnerable. People you trusted hurt you again. Your lupus is flared up and you know you can die from that and you knew I'd show up if you got this run down.
Me: Get me off this friggin freeway! I'm dying!
The Panic Monster: See? I'm winning.
Me: Oh no you won't. I'm going to keep going. Go away.
The Panic Monster: You know you won't feel safe until you get home.
Me: Watch me.

1) I hate rejecting manuscripts. This is probably the hardest part about my job. At the SCBWI Oregon retreat, the other editor there talked about an altered decline letter they have hanging up in the office where instead of "your manuscript" it says "you" so instead of "your manuscript is not satisfying enough" or "After careful consideration, we must pass on your manuscript" it says "YOU are not satisfying enough" or "After careful consideration, we must pass on YOU." It's a reminder to them that there is a person on the other end of the letter, and to that person, to that author, we aren't just rejecting their work, but are rejecting them.

2) I hate not being able to sign up everything that I want to work on.

3) I hate being the bearer of bad news.

4) This is a more minor thing, but I hate writing jacket copy and catalog copy and other kinds of marketing copy.

And now I feel all gross for using the "H" word so much. Kinda dirty.

...People, commonly tourists or folks new to the area, think they can drive that stretch of highway at normal speed, despite the fact that the road is coated with ice and snow. Those are the people I'm genuinely scared of: the out-of-towners driving their SUVs that fly around with their four-wheel-drive summer tires on, thinking they're invincible because they have four-wheel drive. Nevermind that having four-wheel-drive really doesn't help you in this weather -- it just makes it so you lose control and slip with all four wheels instead of two.

Here are a few more: agile development (anyone over 50 can hit the bricks); alignment (my way; antonym: the highway); onboarding (oops, outsourcing was a disaster); sysprog and sysadmin (major and minor deities); team player (anyone who gets alignment).

Your observance is negligence
If you see the threat from different cultures
We're all in this sinking ship
All of us together

Where does the white man stand?
Where does the black man stand?
Where do we all fucking stand?

KNEE DEEP IN THE SHIT!

Look into yourself
And you'll find the real oppressor
To a life of unchallenged hate
It's you who's the nigger!

I know most of the things I deal with are common to all middle school teachers. This week we got into a discussion about MySpace in eighth grade; the kids were incensed that teachers might look at their MySpace accounts. I pointed out that anybody in the planet can; they aren't private. (I know you can make your profile private, but even those who do often comment on others' sites that are public.) My favorite quote: "If I want to endanger my safety, that's my own business." By the end of the conversation, the students were furious.

So many of my students don't turn in their assignments. We just got through report cards and parent/teacher conferences, with all the associated weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth, and we're three weeks into a new quarter. Parents made threats, removed privileges, and punished their children in ways I'd be mandated to report if I lived in the United States. Yet when I entered grades today in my classroom, I was horrified by how low some of them are already. (It's just amazing watching the effect of a zero on a grade.) How quickly they forget.

Obviously the scenario is ridiculous, no one would expect to be charged extra because of something they might do with said equipment. ... Oddly enough, that is precisely what is happening with the Zune, though instead of hitting you with the fee at the register the tax on illegal usage will be hidden in the price tag.

Here’s the situation: Microsoft has agreed to pay a portion of the profits from the sales of the Zune to a record company (Universal) because the Zune will undoubtedly be used to store unpurchased songs.

Every.

Day.

Day after day.

Week after week.

Month after month.

It is bone numbing. Exhausting. It goes on and on. He never stops. He is like the Terminator bunny of Russian attack spammers.

Against Bush.

Was I ever in the position to choose what parents I was born to? No.

The family I was born into? No.

The genes I was born with? No.

The school I was sent to? No.

The native language I was first exposed to? No.

Therefore it seems kind of stupid to me that anyone should ever hate me, personally, the responsible, decision-making, can-steer-the-direction-in-which-his-life-is-heading me, for not being born deaf, for not having deaf parents, and for not having attended a residental state school for the deaf my whole life, and for not having generation upon generation of deaf relatives....

If you hate me because I won’t get an implant and rarely wear my hearing aids, nonetheless I don’t block you from getting one or wearing yours, then why should you hate me?

And if you hate me because I won’t bother to learn to lip read, and instead ask you to write to me when you try to communicate with me (assuming you can’t sign), then why should you hate me? It seems like such a waste of energy. Simply leave me alone. You don’t have to talk to me. I don’t have to talk to you. Absolutely nothing is lost if we simply and quietly pass by each other in the hallway. If all that we have to choose between is that and hatred, I pick silence.

Ned Lamont got the same number of votes as Lieberman’s Republican opponent in 2000, Phil Giordano.

Is that an invitation to remember the incredible kiddie-sex crimes of the ex-mayor of Waterbury? You’re damn right it is! Make the jump, for America.

[Makes Mark Foley seem 'good with kids'] The GOP state representative and three-term mayor didn’t beat Lieberman, obviously, so he continued with his duties at Waterbury City Hall: Having sex with pre-teen children provided by a prostitute (also Giordano’s law client).

And the new Mantra has begun: “It’s the Democrat’s fault!”.

The democrat win has emboldened the enemy because they see the Democrat Party as weak, venerable, and willing to retreat in the face of the enemy. While the terrorist are losing on the battlefield and are in their last strains of life, they are empowered by Democrat control of the US Government and what they lost on the battlefield, they will gain in the political realm and will in turn win the war on terror.

This is all the Democrats fault. For 12 years, they blamed the republicans for everything including hangnails and hurricanes.. Now that they are in charge, they must take the blame for the up tick in terrorism and the loss of the war on terror due to their anti-American stances, policies, insurrection, and Treasonous acts.

I have to be honest with you, for a blue-blooded heterosexual male like myself who loves sports, titty's, and the asses of women who buy their undergarments exclusively in the Lane Bryant catalog, I feel that I know entirely too much when it comes to being inside of a beauty shop....

So for the last 11 plus years, the duration that I have had my dreadlocks, I have spent a great deal of my time in somebody's place of haircare. The first few years were spent in my cousin's shop, a place that specialized in giving women perms and mass amounts of horse hair, so it wouldn't surprise anyone that my locs were started with a comb and some styling gel. The next few years were spent in a shop specializing in natural hair, she was good but her shop was too far from my house, the ghetto ass conversations, religious nut-jobs who voted solely on abortion, and the amount of time she would spend eating, talking to her ignorant girlfriends, and buying knock-off shit from the local hood entrepreneur while she was supposed to be doing my hair made me want to kill everyone in that motherfucker.

I only wish they would do a “Cribs: Bums of NYC” now that would be a show I would want to partake in the viewing of. Think about it, we know where the rich live, the burbs, million dollar apartments, and Hollywood, that’s it. Where is the excitement? With “Cribs: Bums of NYC” who know what adventures we could have.

"If it was up to me, I would send the gay community, who insisted on celebrating in Jerusalem, to Sodom and Gomorrah," said Eli Yishai, one of Israel's deputy prime ministers and the leader of Shas, an ultra-Orthodox party that belongs to Prime Minister Ehud Olmert's governing coalition.

Noting that Christian and Muslim clerics also opposed the event, Mr. Yishai told Israel radio, "If we cannot be sensitive to Jewish feelings, perhaps we can listen to those of other religions."

Inspectors from the state fire marshal's office gave the band the no-drinking order when they came to look over the pyrotechnics planned for Monday's scheduled concert at the Cumberland County Civic Center, said Stephen McCausland, spokesman for the Maine Public Safety Department.

McCausland said the band had wanted to drink beer, wine and Jagermeister while performing. A couple of hours after being told that would violate state law, Guns N' Roses canceled its concert, he said.

Hard-partying Lohan yelled the obscenity towards Hilton on Wednesday night in front of a throng of paparazzi as she was leaving a club in Hollywood.

And, it was all caught on tape!

1. The final deadline is never really the final deadline, at least not at first. Attempting to guess the real deadline becomes a game of cat and mouse between the developer and the publisher.

2. Your daily diet consists of cheap takeaway food, constrained to a few repeating varieties. To this day, certain Indian dishes bring back haunting memories of summer 2004.

5. You wake up one morning and realize you’re out of fresh laundry

6. You wake up the next morning and realize you’re still out of fresh laundry.

10. After crunch is over, you still have submission to contend with.

The restriction is part of efforts to stamp out rabies, state media said Wednesday. It follows a campaign in August in which thousands of dogs were killed in order to fight the disease.

China's capital will institute a "one dog" policy for each household in nine areas, the official Xinhua News Agency said.

"[W]e can't wait to see Chairman of the Ways and Means Committee, Charles Rangel. Finally, proof that a chairmanship requires no cerebral activity at all. And that's just the beginning of the festivities as the Party of Appeasement and higher taxes takes over. Maybe the GOP should get in touch with al-Qaeda in time for '08, because I believe we've just seen that when terrorists endorse a political party, the American people listens." LINK

"I think we're in for two years of defeat and retreat, pandering to Islamic extremists, extreme political correctness, multi-culturalism, open borders beyond belief, amnesty...in other words, we're going back to the 1970s, right after Vietnam." LINK

Then I started to notice some feelings that weren't so pleasant. A nasty hangovery feeling in the head, and a bit of sickness in the stomach. I tried to push these away and concentrate on the sub headspace, but it wasn't working. I have to give them credit here--they stopped, one of them asked if I was OK, I said I felt a little sick, and they hauled me off to sit down tout de suite and gave me some water. On top of the physical ickiness, I also was embarrassed that I'd failed them, and, yes feeling very...kinkblocked? that it had had to stop.

I started feeling better very fast, and noticed that my neck now ached and where...then I figured it out. My height and posture had been _just_ right to lean both carotid arteries directly against the cross! I'm lucky that I didn't pass out, and very lucky that they were watching me more carefully than I was.

We went on to have some more fun with me leaning against a nice non-agressive wall, but...bad_sex is a lovely beating interrupted by an accidental wooden chokehold.

and he makes him fall for him, and he makes me feel warm inside. and he makes me want him.

10 things I hate about Cody
He lives in houston
How he makes me smile
how he makes me tingly everywhere
how he makes me want him
how he makes me so happy i want to cry because im not with him
how i like him so much its scary i call him a ghoul
I hate cody's guts.

actually. i pretty much love codys guts. all of him, i cant get him out of my mind, and i hate that because i cant see him.

i hate how he wont move to dallas and i wont move to houston.

i hate how he makes me laugh. and makes me AFDSJFDLSGJF

idk. idk, i just hate cody.

"In my faith, that's what it says, and I'm a believer of that," the governor said.

Throughout much of the 90-minute service at Cornerstone Church, Mr. Perry sat on the red-carpeted stage next to the Rev. John Hagee. Mr. Perry was among about 60 mostly Republican candidates who accepted the invitation to be introduced to the megachurch's congregation of about 1,500, plus a radio and TV audience.

The following summer, we suddenly found that we had no acceleration power. We took it to the dealer. “The clutch is burned out,” they told me. “You need to replace it.” They blamed it on driver error. When I pointed out that 1) I’ve been driving stick shift for 15 years and never burned out a clutch; 2) the car had barely 9,000 miles on it, which is absurdly low for a clutch to need replacement...

One hot summer day last year, the driver’s side window suddenly fell into the door. I took it to the dealer and they replaced a broken plastic part. “That was bound to happen,” they told me, “just from normal wear and tear.” Two weeks later, the passenger side window did the same thing.

"They were raising slogans, ‘Muslim terrorists,’” explained Shahid Amber, a victim of a hate crime. “[They] started cursing me, [saying] go back to your country, scum bags, you just messed this country up and all that."...

“One of them, he spit on my face,” said Amber. “As I was cleaning my face, I see a punch coming on my face with a brass knuckle.”

Amber was treated for a number of injuries, including a broken nose, and soon after, the police arrested five teens, all of them Jewish, and charged them with assault as a hate crime....

The Jewish Anti-Defamation League has joined others in condemning the attack. The suspects are due back in court next month

9. Anyone that is too perky

13. Anyone enjoying themselves in my presence

17. Anything brighter than 60% Kodak Grey

19. Basically, anything within five feet of me

As the paparazzo approached the car, Paris lured him into her devilish trap by telling him to come a little bit closer. Once he got to the limo, Paris yelled, “Give me the motherfucking tape!” and grabbed at the camera. Well the light broke on the camera and the cameraman fell to the ground. As Paris and her bodyguard hovered over him, he relented and gave up the tape.

I decided to get to the bottom of this. What are these nasty tree-beasts? According to Wikipedia, they are the hilariously-named Tree of Heaven, (or Ailanthus altissima), an invasive species from China, brought to California by Chinese miners and railroad workers around the turn of the last century.

1987. Rolling Stone’s 20th Anniversary issue. Sting declares that Rock and roll is dead and there is nothing rebellious about it anymore. In that one instant Sting declared himself an enemy of rock and roll and an enemy of me.

# 2. Sawyer. Enough already. The accent and the nicknames are more annoying now than ever. Too much screen time. Shoot him in the eye, Freckles.

# 3. The Others. Boooooo-ring.

# 4. The Tailies. I think one of them is left. Hey, thanks for stealing Season 2. You owe me 22 hours.

How much more material do you need beyond the Rev. Ted Haggard, meth, gay massage and megachurches? The jokes write themselves. "SNL" has also been asleep at the laptop on the Iraq war issue, never establishing itself as the go-to place for war jokes. Talk about your quagmire. We should all be ashamed that our national political situation isn't far easier fare for most comics and that what we're left with is asinine pop culture references that were only funny a few minutes after they happened on YouTube.

Proposal 2 will pass by a large margin tomorrow despite a recent poll showing the ballot proposal trailing by 10 percentage points among Michigan voters, said Mark Grebner, founder of Lansing-based Practical Political Consulting, in an interview with Inside Michigan Politics....

In an attempt to recreate the environment voters face, Grebner has developed his own technique for polling ballot questions. Instead of conducting phone polls, Grebner mails dummy ballots to targeted areas around the state and lets his subjects fill them out in their own homes. Under this method, the voters are under no pressure to avoid sounding racist like they would on the phone, because the dummy ballots are anonymous....

"You need to let people be as bigoted as they really are," he said.

He later fell thru the ceiling into another room, where he was arrested.

Lt. Chris Bertram of the Salt Lake County Sheriff’s office says he’s a very dangerous person and that’s why he was public enemy number one.

“It was some of the things he was engaged in,” says Bertram. “He was a member of a white supremacist gang. He had made statements that he wasn’t willing to go back to prison. There was information gathered that he had armed himself. Anytime you have a felon armed with a parole warrant that’s a dangerous combination.

The Sunday Times newspaper said the proposal was in reaction to the number of such children who were surviving because of medical advances.

The college argued "active euthanasia" should be considered for the good of families, to spare parents the emotional burden and financial hardship of bringing up the sickest babies.

The protagonist is a gay man who posed in a straight role because he felt the gay part of himself was "repulsive and dark." Despite tricking a woman into marriage and achieving enormous success in a field that demanded spotless heterosexuality, privately Ted did not have an easy time maintaining his big lie. He had evil thoughts that led to evil actions, and Ted was forced to declare war on himself. He considered those fleeting moments when he repressed who he really was to be times of "victory" and "freedom." Ted also declared war on other people like him by leading literally millions to reject gays as equals and even to specifically shove their second-class status in their queer faces....

I'm not sure this story will satisfy certain strict academic definitions of tragedy however, because there will probably be no recognition by the protagonist of his "fatal flaw." But that only makes the hero more pitiful.

That's what I asked Lois Murphy's campaign yesterday. The answer was simple:

"It's not us!"

Only three recorded calls have been made on behalf of Murphy's campaign, including one from Gov. Rendell, which were sponsored by the Democratic State Committee. The rest? A "dirty trick" by the Republicans, said communications director Amy Bonitatibus. The calls, which begin by offering "important information about Lois Murphy," are designed to mislead voters into thinking the message is from her. Most recipients slam down the phone before finding out otherwise - and then call to complain.

"We've got a ton of complaints, starting about two weeks ago," Bonitatibus said.

"Some of our biggest supporters have said, 'If you call me again, I'm not voting for Lois.' "

The culprit in this race is the National Republican Congressional Committee, an organization that's used such scurrilous campaign tactics this season that it has been disavowed in some instances by the candidates it is supporting.

Named by Time Magazine as among the "25 most influential evangelicals in America", Mr Haggard reportedly talks regularly with President George Bush or his advisors. He was credited with encouraging Christians to vote for Mr Bush in his 2004 re-election.

The pastor supported a proposed amendment to the Colorado constitution, that will be on next week's ballot, defining marriage as between a man and a woman, a "wedge issue" with which the Republicans hope to galvanise their supporters.

Why the permaban? Well, according to various claims in the threads, a bunch of the guild members used hacks to run through walls to C'Thun as opposed to fighting the trash mobs and the bosses along the way. Of course, there are a couple more rumors in the forums about what really happened, as tends to be the case with all forum drama.

If the wall hack is true...damn. All those incredibly geared players are just gone! It was stupid to try a hack like that to save time, and Blizzard more than dropped the hammer on them for doing it.

And I hate this Chris guy who sent me this sickeningly cheery e-mail this morning:

Someone bring me a hacksaw.

And yet we just can't help but hate them. Their great sin? They win too much.

After standing in line at the Mac Store with my brand new computer in hand...the one that shuts down without notice all of the time... I had to leave it with them to evaluate. After 5 days, they tell me they have to send it back to the factory to get a new logic board. And that I'll have to pay them to download the data off of my new failed product of theirs. I tell them I need it now, even though it is screwed up, and that I'll bring it back after my trip to kc.

As I'm picking it up, I ask the service guy "does this happen a lot with these?" And he literally shrugs his scrawny shoulders.

THEN SOME RANDOM CUSTOMER WHO IS NEXT IN LINE SAYS "DOES IT SHUT DOWN ALL THE TIME?"

He said, "There is a new Apple download on your computer that will fix it." I look at the repair guy.

He says "uhh,I don't know if that will work all the time...."

The customer says, "IT WORKS. TRUST ME."

I Hate Apple. I hate genius bars. I hate the people who work at Apple or who even want to work there.

That really just blew my mind. How in the hell could there be that many hate groups in the United States in the year 2005?

Elections Supervisor Arthur Anderson said his office has been looking into the matter for nearly nine months, and he would turn over the case to the state attorney's office by Friday.

Coulter's attorney did not immediately return a call Wednesday. Nor did her publicist at her publisher, Crown Publishing.

Knowingly voting in the wrong precinct is a felony punishable by up to five years in prison.

Student members of the university's Black Students Union protested the Sigma Chi fraternity party that was shut down by a university official early Sunday morning. The party was closed down after the students produced photographs of a skeleton pirate dangling from a rope noose on the roof of the fraternity's house on the 200 block of 33rd Street.

Holding up signs such as "Lynching is not a joke" and "Ban Sigma Chi," more than 30 students stood on Charles Street today holding up photographs from the party and distributing copies of an invitation to the party. The invitation posted on the Web site Facebook described Baltimore as "the hiv pit" and encouraged attendees to wear "regional clothing from our locale" such as "bling bling ice ice, grills," and "hoochie hoops."

Here's a memo to leftists. We know you hate Bush. We know you hate Bush with a purple, fiery passion. Really - we get it. You don't have to keep trying to out-do one another to prove it. Because doing so leads you all to make some of the most asinine, jackassed comments. ...

We know many of you hate your country. We get it - really, we do. Some of you even hold our country in less regard than al Qaeda or the insane Islamic freaks that want to see us all dead. To them we're the Great Satan, but honestly sometimes I think you leftists believe we're even worse than that.

4. Using Firefox on multiple machines at the same time on corporate networks under the same login is impossible.

5. The Firefox spell checker doesn’t know that Firefox is a name.

7. Rapidly closing many porn sites is impossible as you have to move to each tab to press the close button.

10. The Adobe PDF viewer in Firefox is awful - buggy, slow and can hang your Firefox session.

...I could go on for pages but I'll sum up with this: I hate America for being a hypocritical white supremacist capitalist patriarchy.

After a paragraph like that, you know what comes next: If you hate America so much, why don't you leave? Leave America? That would potentially put me on the other end of U.S. foreign policy. No thanks.

I like how Paul Robeson answered that question before the House Un-American Activities Committee in 1956: "My father was a slave and my people died to build this country, and I'm going to stay right here and have a part of it, just like you. And no fascist-minded people like you will drive me from it. Is that clear?"

I hate you for smiling at me time and again
For it made my heart smile back deep within
For the way you stare at me in deliberation
Driving my thoughts crazy with anticipation

I hate you for sending me SMS from time to time
For it made me remember you for a lifetime
For giving me countless missed calls everyday
Reminding me of your presence needlessly

I hate you for always spending your time with me
For it made me appreciate your company
For always being there when I need consolation
Helping me realize you're someone I can lean on

But most of all, I hate you so much
For loving me forcibly without a hunch
For making me say I hate you, with charms all pure
Because the truth is...I'm just learning to love you more and more